Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

So today’s “prompt”

Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Which daily tasks take up the most of your energy?

This is an interesting question. My instant reaction was to list the tasks that I dislike, but procrastination is the real energy suck in those cases – when I just go ahead and do them, tis fine.

On a regular day, I use a lot of energy processing and generating information – reading social media, traditional media, sharing, commenting, and so forth – both for my personal “enjoyment” and for my professional commitments. That can be very draining, especially when I’m not very organized.

Being mindful of my schedule can also consumer a lot of energy – my mental health is always better when I am “in my routine” … so I have a series of bells & whistles to help keep me focused – meds, lunch, certain chores on certain days, etc. I can expend a great amount of energy trying to get back in my groove once its blown – the clearest example is if I sleep in too late. It is hard for me to recover. Then I have to maintain an ongoing assessment and reassessment of my schedule. Technology helps a lot with this – both in terms of reminders (alarms) and mindfulness tools (my infamous gong app.) It is worth it, but it takes a lot.

In this current post-concussive/back injury/hand thing state – pretty much everything decimates my energy. Today, I woke up (late), threw on sweats, went to the doctor, went to Eat n Park, walked into Dick’s to buy a pair of sneakers, and then went into Barnes & Noble to sip some coffee and while away an hour until my next appointment. I read about half a magazine and chatted with a friend I saw. Ledcat did all of the driving, the parking, the planning, etc. By the time of my second appointment, I was literally ready to fall asleep. I rallied for dinner, but I’m wiped out now. My physical and emotional energy is gone.

One final note – I believe many of us, mentally ill or otherwise, waste a lot of energy on anxiety. I’m already fretting about cleaing the snow off my car to go to (yet another) appointment tomorrow to which I must drive myself. I won’t be able to reach the snow or use a broom because of my back/hand. Will I get pulled over? Will I be able to park because I can’t move well? Did I remember to put my sunglasses in my bag? Do I need to stop at the store on the way home? And the big one – what if I slip on the ice and reinjure my back or head?

We can’t live like this. It takes real concerted effort to stifle those anxieties and conserve today’s remaining energy for today’s remaining activities.

So I am going to go use my remaining energy to give my mind a rest and listen to an audiobook with my eyes closed.