Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Talk about a time when you used up an extraordinary amount of energy and were exhausted.

It seems that each day, the prompt ties so nicely into my unique circumstances. Let’s review – pulled my back, concussion (bumped my head again today – yikes), carpal tunnel in my right hand and my mental health. Wow!

So there are days when the process of making coffee and getting a shower, then finding clean clothes is overwhelming. Exhausting. I used to use a timer on my phone to help prompt me for all of the day to day things I need to remember, but with my hand being somewhat useless – I had to disable those prompts because I couldn’t turn off the alarms. So even the processs of remembering to remember is 10x harder. And more exhausting.

Exhaustion is the type of tired where you can’t even unwind and rest. There are plenty of days when I curl up in our nice comfortable bed (new comforter for a Christmas present) and feel myself relax and drift away. But there are days when I’m soo tired that I can’t imagine that feeling, I can’t remember it.

I’ve always been busy – events, meetings, activities, chores, etc. I’ve been plenty tired. But I’ve never been so ongoing exhausted since I began this journey of healing. (God, I hate how obnoxious that sounds.) I’m writing this because I need to keep my mind active, but my right hand is practically frozen so I’m slapping the keys. My head throbs (gotta get off line very soon). Laura has to work late so I’ve lost track of the time of day and I’m unsure if I ate today.

But I did get some amazing work done. A project to honor a woman who died far too young and far too violently will take place. It adds to the exhaustion but in a way that feels like maybe I will get to sleep tonight.

Conserve some energy for you. You never know when you might not have that option.