Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

Last week, my brother contacted me to let me know. He had authorized requesting hospice for them.

They live in an assisted living facility here in Pittsburgh. They have a myriad of underlying conditions, ravages of lives hard lived and filled with tragedies. Of course, they end up both contracting an international pandemic causing virus.

I am writing this post to create a mark in time to say that this happened to them, that they deserve better, and this is incredibly hard. I also need to say to other survivors of trauma that it is okay to feel conflicted and upset – there’s no right way to feel. There’s no obligation to do anything outside of your boundaries no matter what.

I shared this with a handful of people. Some said the wrong things – sigh. Some said nothing. Others stepped up to check in with me. Ding, ding, ding.

If this happens to someone you love, just offer your support. Don’t assume how they should or should not feel/act/think. Don’t try to force them to talk about their traumatic history. Just listen, like you would to anything else. Framing the situation with your own expository assessment is not helpful.

This is a photo of my parents on their wedding day. I don’t romanticize their relationship ever. But right now, I want to hold their hopefulness and their tenacity in my mind’s eye.

Praying for them is much appreciated.