Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

I had a very nice prom experience 25 years ago. My BFF John was my date. He was four years older than me so that was cool. He loved to dance so that was cool. He cut a dashing figure in his tuxedo so that was cool. And he was an out gay man so that was cool.

Here’s what I remember

• Buying my dress from a bridal shop near our home called Sadie Marie’s or something like that. It was $200 and that appalled me. They tried to upswell me on everything, but I refused. Ashley Marie’s? Something like that.
• I remember the fuss about dying shoes and a purse, but I cannot remember where I came down on that.
• The prom was at a hotel in Monroeville, I think. We just drove to prom and that was it. Walked it, posed for a photo, then bam … prom.
• I had spent most of the afternoon with my friend Missy. She was really into sophisticated makeup and such. I was not. She did my makeup. I think she was in a fight with her prom date/boyfriend. I was not.
• The theme was “I Had The Time Of My Life” from Dirty Dancing.
• I remember at our table – my friend Amy and her date, my friend Matt and his date Dena who did not want to be there, my friend Bob who was with my friend Kim as his date, I think. I also think my friend John was at our table with his date Karen who we all knew from CCD but attended a different high school.
• John had taught me some of the moves from the IHTTOML iconic dance from the movie so that was a lot of fun. No lift.
• Yes, he did say dramatically “No one puts Susie in a corner” (he always called me Susie.)
• Most of the dates of my girl friends did not dance so John’s dance card was quite full.
• When prom was over, we drove home. We both had to work at the crack of dawn – we worked at the same place. So no afterprom drama for me.

I don’t really remember any details beyond that. It was a nice rite of passage, but it didn’t change my life. It wasn’t a bit like a movie. The worst thing that happened is John’s mom accidently exposed the film in the camera so we had two photos to remember the evening.

The most vivid memory is my thought as I observed all the dating drama around me – in 25 years, I’ll still have my best friend when high school boyfriends are long gone. I savored that, a good sweet memory created with someone I loved just as he was and a young man willing to go to a prom after his own nightmarish high school experience to make sure i had a nice time.

John died in November 2007, 19 years after our prom. So my self-satisfied smug little prediction, my narrative framing this memory wasn’t true after all. He was gone. I can’t call him up tonight and relive it. I can’t show him that I still have the embossed wine glass they thought was appropriate as a gift for a 17 year old kid. I can’t get him to sing the song along with me.

But if my best memory of my high school prom was my loving friendship with this wonderful man whom I will never forget, that’s pretty good.

Post-Script: it took me weeks to hit publish on this.