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Since spring 2013, I have been writing memorials for trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming (TGNC) neighbors whose lives have been lost to violence. The relentless persistence of this violence is akin to a terror campaign.
While I’ve frequently shared the story of how I started doing this work, I’ve less often talked about “the work” in a larger sense, exploring the many actors who volunteer (few are paid that I can see) to search for these neighbors, acknowledge their deaths, and amplify their lives.
I refer to them as ‘the researchers’ and the work they do extends far beyond the scope of my own memorial list.
These good people go looking for the victims of fatal violence, but also missing persons, unclaimed people, unidentified people and more. People who might not be on the radar of the general public.
After a bumpy start, I am launching a new limited series exploring how we honor the lives, acknowledge the deaths, and search for the identities of members of the LGBTQ+ community, especially the trans community.
This series will use a Q&A format to hear their stories, learn about the tools and techniques they use, and shine a light on their impetus to walk this path. The paths we traverse will be defined by the Q&A’s, not me alone.
This is complicated. Some work is trans specific, other LGBTQ+ generalized. One lesson I’ve learned is to be flexible as well as open-minded.
What is this work?
First, let’s take a look at the work itself thanks to the Trans Doe Task Force, a trans led organization created in 2018 and formally incorporated as a 501c3 in 2021.
The work involves finding and researching cases of missing and murdered LGBTQ+ folx, especially focusing on the trans community. It involves everything from maintaining a database to working with law enforcement and the media to educate on the unique needs of Trans Doe individuals. Further, TDTF has an array of forensic genetic genealogy tools to offer law enforcement, medical examiners, and forensic genealogists.
They also will have an online memorial section of their website for people’s chosen family to properly memorialize them, especially for the people who are claimed by unsupported family members. Currently under construction, bookmark the page.
Definitions
Doe is a universal term for a person whose name is unknown, sometimes for anonymity and sometimes because they simply aren’t known. You may be familiar with “Jane and John Doe.” A Trans Doe turns that gender binary on its head. We can’t know someone’s gender identity just by examining their bodies. We can’t know their gender conformity by assessing their clothing, personal effects, etc.
Missing people include individuals whose disappearance has been documented by law enforcement, but also individuals who are ‘informally’ reported by friends and family. All of these individuals are listed in the database. The information is kept private, open only to researchers. Tools are available to submit missing persons to TDTF.
Murdered people are individuals who have died violently. This includes death during a crime, domestic violence, filicide, hit and run incidents, death by law enforcement, random acts of violence, The point is not that the person is killed because they are trans, but that they are killed as a trans person.Some groups also include people who have reportedly died of suicide or have an undetermined COD because those designations aren’t always accurate and can be changed.
Unidentified people bodies have been found or located, but their identities are unknown. Some are in morgues, others have been cremated or buried. The cause of death might be natural or violent.
Unclaimed people have been identified but their remains haven’t been claimed, either because no next of kin could be located, or because the next of kin could not afford or did not want to claim the persons remains.
This is important work. It requires skills in forensic genealogy, historical research, social media, and the emotional capacity to dive into painful and traumatic stories.
Researchers do this work. They scour media outlets, use Google searches, follow hundreds of social media accounts that might provide a tip. Many are highly trained in forensic genealogy, genetic research, and others are intimately familiar with the relevant databases.
When someone is on the radar, the focus is on gathering everything possible about the person to confirm their identity, their name, and their pronouns. This often means reading multiple mainstream media accounts that misgender or deadname the victim.
Memorializing compiles this information into a post or tribute. The goal is to present the name the person used, a photo they used, acknowledging their death while honoring their life. It requires asking for accountability by law enforcement, family, and the community to understand how and why each death is tied to all of us. This is not an obituary. It is for claimed persons as well as unclaimed..
Unidentified or unclaimed cases often requires more in-depth tools and experts, forging relationships with forensic specialists, law enforcement. As we’ll discuss in a future post, these researchers use genealogical records and DNA databases to enhance their search.
Why focus on Trans Does?
All of this sounds pretty universal. Why did groups form focusing on trans and queer victims?
Discrimination. LGBTQ+ competency is sorely lacking in most walks of life. This is no exception. Disregard for sex workers, family pressure to obscure details about sexual identity and gender nonconforming, lack of understanding the realities of intersectional identities cam erase a person.
It is important to be open to any possible identity when approaching a case versus assuming by default that the person is cisgender and heterosexual.For example, bodies of individuals assigned male at birth (AMAB) who are found with typical feminine clothing and accessories might be gender nonconforming. In this day and age, it is hard to believe how that possibility doesn’t cross someone’s mind. But it is true. Anti-trans bias is that deeply ingrained among the media, law enforcement, and even scientists involved. They don’t even allow for that information.
It can be necessary to use government assigned names with discretion to confirm identities.That information does not need to be published. Maintaining that delicate balance requires some experience and finesse. Knowing where to use the information does, too. I see it as the information the deceased chose to keep private, it isn’t the choice of the family or friends.
These researchers also focus on LGBTQ+ victims because of deprioritization of LGBTQ+ by law enforcement or other official agencies. This is where cases involving LGBTQ+ victims are not given resources or attention because of dehumanization or discrimination that cases involving non-lgbtq+ cases would get. Deprioritization of LGBTQ+ cases results in a much lower closure/conviction rate for cases where the victim is LGBTQ+, and is common internationally. (Sex workers typically face these same issues with their cases, which is also one of the reasons we include cases involving them regardless of orientation or presentation)
For some organizations, the stigma of being perceived as trans is greater than the need for accuracy. Upsetting families or friends, exposing a secret all factor in to erasure. Erasure keeps the risk of future incidents higher. It is a dangerous, risky, and dehumanizing It threatens community public safety.
The data on violence in the trans and queer communities is horrifying.
We’ll dive into this in more detail in the Q&A’s.
The role of family
Involvement of a supportive family makes a world of difference. But that’s not always possible especially if the deceased was estranged. Still we want to offer condolences, learn more about the person/
The work does not accept or tolerate erasure. Sadly, erasure comes from the larger community and the family most often.
Thus we respect families, but we must also respect the individual’s right to be acknowledged. The community also has a right to grieve and be aware of potential public safety threats.
Still, family support is a continuum, not a black and white issue. There’s often a sense of a family credibly trying to honor the identity of their loved one versus erasing them. Make no mistake, using the deadname and misgendering even with the inclusion of their lived name or describing them as a transgender person while misgendering them – these are forms of erasure.
However, paying attention to the degree is important. It isn’t often hard to tell when someone is making an effort. Offering information and education while being sensitive to their very real grief is helpful. But they aren’t the only people who lost this loved one – friends, neighbors, other trans and queer folx, and the community.
It is a balancing act for all of us.
The role of friends
If family do not report, friends can do so using the online resources. Or if a family has reported their loved one’s deadname and misgendered them, more complete information from friends can help connect the dots. Pouring through social media to find confirmation is a lot of work. Advocacy by friends can redirect that work to
It is also a good way to show up by sharing missing person’s information for your own community, even if you don’t personally know the individual. Friends often organize vigils, showing up to honor their loved one is a strong show of support.
The role of the community
We’ll dive into this in more detail in the Q&A’s. I’d like to address two specific issues now.
First is that the number of high profile/influencers/content creators sharing the posts – from any source – has declined rapidly. This is an anecdotal observation having created this content myself over 10+ years.
Second, the reason people give me for this is that it’s sad. Yes, that’s true. But denial and disregard doesn’t make it less sad. It just creates more room for the next murder to happen. What I typically advise is that the person share the information, then find two trans affirming links or stories to share. And then perhaps keep sharing the affirming content.
It is appropriate to feel sad. That emotion can spur you to take action, to find your empathy, to help. Using sadness as an excuse to avoid engaging these victims is simply another form of oppression..
The role of LGBTQ+ organizations and media outlets
As we’ve covered, the trans community requires visibility and support to deal with this campaign of terror. My duty as a cisgender member of the LGBTQ community is to honor those requests.
A few LGBTQ+ national organizations publish memorial posts, but they tend to be heavy on what the organization says/thinks/believes versus lifting up the life of the deceased neighbor. I’m not aware of any national organizations regularly circulating missing person information.
Local organizations tend to absorb the brunt of the work to support and navigate through these incidents. Investing in local organizations is one important way to support them.
Sometimes we find someone deceased in a community without LGBTQ+ supports.
What’s not helpful is asking media outlets to erase any trans person’s identity. Also dangerous is supporting the premature claim that a disappearance or violent act was NOT tied to trans identity. LGBTQ+ organizations can reach out to the groups above for guidance. We’ll be exploring this issue in the Q&A’s.
International reports
You might be surprised by the number of active researchers around the world. We’ll talk with researchers located outside of the US.
Groups and orgs
Remembering Our Dead TDOR Trans Murder Monitoring by TGEU. Works with organizations around the world to ensure that the violent deaths of Trans people around the globe are recorded.
NamUs – The National Missing and Unidentified Persons System (NamUs) is a national centralized repository and resource center for missing, unidentified, and unclaimed person cases across the United States.
Murdered Missing Indigenous Women
Sovereign Bodies Institute builds on Indigenous traditions of data gathering and knowledge transfer to create, disseminate, and put into action research on gender and sexual violence against Indigenousnous peop
National Center for Transgender Equality
Charley Project – The Charley Project profiles over 16,000 “cold case” missing people mainly from the United States. It does not actively investigate cases; it is merely a publicity vehicle for missing people who are often neglected by the press and forgotten all too soon. A person must have been missing for at least one year to be listed.
This list is not all inclusive. These are resources that the researchers use. As this project expends, you’ll be introduced to others.
TDOR Websites
There is no one central website for every memorial, missing person, unclaimed person and so forth. If you google TDOR, you might find conflicting sites. I confirmed this with Anna-Jayne Metcalfe. She shared an informative link about the history of the memorials themselves – evolving from a simple list to a laminated placard and then evolving into a database designed for preservation.
transgenderdor.org (2007-2012)
https://tdor.info/ (Dormant)
https://tdor.translivesmatter.info (1957-current day)
tdor.info and transgenderdor.org are descendents of the original gender.org/remember website.
There’s never been an official umbrella org…only conventions and people trying to do their best to get info out there.
Anna-Jayne Metcalfe
The only semi-official list is the one collated by TGEU, and even that started in parallel with the efforts of tdor.info.
How to help
Report anything you know, no matter how old the information. The police may not listen. But these organizations will. You are not alone in any attempt to pass along information.
My heart broke while following the case of 17 year old River Nevaeh Goddard who was killed in Stow, Massachusetts after being reported missing two years ago. Classmates of River heard from them and reached out to local police. Local police did not take social media reports from teenagers seriously. And those kids live with that, even though they did what they could. So we need to make sure people know where to go with information if the police are not a good choice.
Follow TDTF and others on social media and share the content. We want trans folx to know that we are looking for them and need your help. Even years down the road, the truth matters. People’s stories matter.
This spring, we helped connect the unclaimed body of a known trans person with a loved one. She was with her people after a very long time.
Volunteer. Join the trans violence FB group. Invite researchers to speak to your class or community group.
Be alert. Monitor missing persons reports in your community. If you see a red flag about identity, flag it to TDTF or other resources.
I watch my local news regularly and keep my ear open to indicators that people are part of the LGBTQ+ community. A few years ago, I drew attention to two different missing lesbians, neither of whom was being rigorously investigated. Fortunately, they were both found. One had disappeared themselves for a bit. The other was in a potentially dangerous situation, but escaped.
I also follow local hashtags on social media.
One very important caveat – this is not only about individuals who disappeared or were murdered because they are trans, this is about all trans folx who are disappeared or murdered or unclaimed. We go looking for them because their lives have value and meaning, because trans people deserve support in all matters of their lives, and because to understand the trans experience we need to explore every story.
This work is hard and soul-shattering. But there are moments when people are found, reconnected, and go home.
Earlier this month, the TDTF announced that a positive identity had been made on an individual who was found in 1989 in a chimney. 35 years later, the researchers found him – his name was Ronnie Joe Kirk. The researchers continue to try to fill in the gaps of his story and are reaching out to the LGBTQ+ community for help.
Ronnie Joe Kirk had people looking for him. And now they are one step closer to finding him.
I hope this series will help you better understand topics related to this work. We are going to dive into thee data, answer the age-old question of whether a violent crime happening to a trans person is considered a hate crime if there is no concrete evidence it was based on their identity, talk with a variety of volunteers, and more. The directions we take will be driven by the volunteers who participate, not me alone. I’m the storyteller here, but this is not my story alone.
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