In case you were wondering, my solo Christmas was actually fine. I had Xmas eve dinner with friends. Then I came home and settled in.
I had a sweet roll for breakfast, then heated up my chicken dinner around 2. In between, I watched ‘Call the Midwife’ most of the day. I did take a walk out to feed my colony – I even heated up extra gross stinky food for them. Spoke with a long-time friend for awhile. She’s solo, too.
In the evening, I made some tea and went upstairs. A few friends had dropped off small gifts for me that I opened on Christmas Night – a tradition we started years ago. I am awash in day planners, mugs, and chocolate. I found some fun content on YouTube and Instagram.
I also bought myself a Christmas present – a portable radio/cassette player/CD player. Its a retro design from a company that produces good sound quality. I have missed music. Sure I can stream it, but there’s something to be said about turning on an actual radio when you walk into a room. Maybe hard for younger generations to understand. But it is important to me so I took the plunge. No buyers remorse so far.
And the I went to bed.
Solo life isn’t so bad, and not truly lonely. I did some grounding exercises and thought long and hard about Christmas – all I wanted was to be home with my cats. And I achieved that. I’m not in search of some sort of glow up life change. I want basic comforts, my cats, and the companionship of good friends. Maybe even some not so good friends?
I’m not speaking for anyone else. To be fair, I don’t know how I feel next Christmas. That’s down the road. Right now, I am keenly aware of my need to keep processing my trauma. This successful foray into the solo life gives me another bit of resiliency for that journey.
I am celebrating the holidays in my home of nearly 20 years with my lovely cats and surrounded by my things. There’s warmth, a full fridge, and so much joy in my heart.
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