Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

My friend has long stayed away from online currency accounts. The few times I needed to send $$ to her, I sent it to her son’s PayPal. So I was quite surprised to get her note that she had successfully set up a Venmo account and sent me $20. Sure enough, there it was with a few emojis.

When someone moves out of their comfort zone to help, that’s an incredible gift. And woo hoo for figuring out Venmo.

** We need 12 donors to reach an important milestone of 300 total donors through GFM **

I’ve had conversations with both of my lawyers recently. It looks like we might be appealing in the federal case and that the Family Court case might end up appealing to the PA Superior Court. Nothing is ever certain until its done.

I’m not done asking for your investment in these matters.

My lawyer told me “We are entering new legal territory here” with regard to domestic partnerships and marriage equality. It is truly astounding that a decade after Obgerfell v Hodges found denying marriage equality to same sex couple was unconstitutional, these matters of dissolving functional marital equivalents have yet to be resolved.

The implications of my circumstances and the legalities for other people – LGBTQ people, people with disabilities, people with mental  illness, and beyond. I’ve said over and over that the validity of domestic partnership is a really important question. It was important in 1989 when they first came to Pennsylvania and ever since. The proper term is functional marriage equivalent – civil unions, civil partnerships, and the ever so romantic adult interdependent relationships are just a few other examples. 

Dozens of foreign countries recognize some form in addition to marriage. Dozens more grandparented these relationships that are no longer accessible. Imagine the complication of a same sex couple in such a relationship moving to Pennsylvania, ending their relationship that does not exist in our Commonwealth so they can marry others. Who does the math to determine how equivalent the functional marriage was? It wasn’t marriage – we agree on that. But it wasn’t ‘not marriage” was it in the sense that it bequeathed some rights during a time when marriage equality was not an option?

How do you compare a domestic partnership registered through the City of Pittsburgh with one formed in Maryland or DC or a civil union established in New Jersey? If all of those people move to Pennsylvania, they have to be able to sever one legal function to enter into another. And they have to be able to divide their marital assets in a reasonable manner.

Each situation is unique so its not like you can predetermine four or six categories. The only viable solution is to consider 1 year of a functional marriage equivalent the same as 1 year of a marriage. Nothing else makes sense.

I’ve made this argument many times before but keep in mind that this not just about same sex couples. Opposite sex couples can avail themselves of these relationships – sometimes seniors who would lose essential life sustaining benefits if they marry, disabled individuals who will lose income and benefits if they marry, and others. There are even some common law marriages still in place in Pennsylvania that might need to be dissolved.

Yes, it is unfair that marriage equality doesn’t include all people – poor folx and disabled folx primarily. But we shouldn’t punish them for building families in spite of oppressive laws.

Finally, there is the future. What happens is Obgerfell falls like Roe did and marriage equality reverts to each state? In Pennsylvania, the existing Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) would immediately go into effect, restricting marriage to one man and one woman. There’s no way to tell if people would be grandparented in or what would happen to existing marriages. That was true before Trump and even more so now.

We would need domestic partnerships and other locally controlled functional equivalents to allow us to still protect our families. Weakening any of these equivalents could be disastrous and push LGBTQ rights back to the 70s before domestic partnerships existed. Who wants that?

I realize that this might seem self-serving – making an argument that directly benefits me along with larger groups of people. That’s a narrow way to look at advocacy. People typically get involved because of a personal motive such as their own experience or that of a loved one. Something resonated with them enough to go from watching the television to making phone calls and picking up a sign. Any environmental or civil rights issues affects all of us as individuals.

Connecting the dots is easy when you’ve been following these issues for decades. We need to use all of our tools to protect our communities. I believe I’ve made the case for why functional marriage equivalents have to be acknowledged and treated with respect. We cannot lose rights. Lessening the value of a domestic partnership hurts everyone in Pennsylvania.

** We need 12 donors to reach an important milestone of 300 total donors through GFM **

I can’t even get into what’s happening federally. It terrifies me a bit to be challenging a Trump led Federal Government on Fourteenth Amendment issues. I feel vulnerable in a way that wasn’t on my radar in December. It isn’t just about potentially losing so much as being denied the right to bring it up through a legitimate legal process. That’s new. And intimidating.

I never wanted any of this. I still want my life back. I still hate everything about it. I don’t want to have my name on new legal case law. I don’t want to constantly ask for money for me, instead of for cats or neighbors or kids or whatever else I might have been doing these past 593 days.

So thank you to my nameless friend who stepped out of their comfort zone to set up a Venmo and contribute. She supports me in so many ways and inspires me in so many other ways.

Please help me.

• GoFundMe bit.ly/HelpLGBTQBlogger
• Venmo @Pghlesbian
• CashApp $Pghlesbian
• Paypal.me/Pghlesbian
• Zelle sitnscoop@gmail.com
• Patreon Pghlesbian

You can also support by subscribing! to this blog.