Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

I’ve been savoring my surprise nab of the Best Local Blogger category in the Pittsburgh City Paper’s 2016 ‘Best of Pittsburgh’ awards. By savoring, I mean that I agonized over how much I hated the accompanying photo, missed the award party because of anxiety and have awkwardly inserted the factoid into as many conversations as possible simply because Ledcat dared me to do so. I said it at least 10 times when I was in a blogging panel.  Yes, I did use the phrase, “I traffic in the currency of exposure.”

While watching my favorite parade of the year – the parade formerly known as Celebrate the Seasons on WPXI the Saturday after Thanksgiving – I realized that I had missed a prime opportunity to revel in my local celebrity status. I could have been on Liberty Avenue in the #CatCar waving to my fans. Or just throwing stuff at the crowd and hoping people googled “#AMPLIFY” to figure out who I was. OR I could have invited Pittsburgh’s other Best Local

Blogger, John Chamberlin from YaJagoff, as voted by Pittsburgh Magazine to sit in the back of a pickup truck and liveblog the parade from that vantage.

Any excuse to hang out with John is a good excuse.

That had me thinking (got me thinking?) about all of the other ways this award could launch my future career as a minor Pittsburgh celebrity. This is where I say that it will bring more attention to the important topics that I cover and blog about, but in reality the end goal is to be included in the SEEN column. I won’t lie. Still bitter about that 2004 incident when they sliced me and Ledcat out of the photo with Dinah Denmark! And the great thing is that since I won the first time they had the category, I can retire on top. Not from blogging (never that), but from trying to get votes. I don’t have to be self-promoting in that area ever again. I can invest my influence to encourage you to vote for other bloggers. Not yet, let me enjoy this at least through the end of 2016, right?

Here are some other ways I’d like to convert my victory into the currency of exposure and more Twitter followers (@PghLesbian24)

1. Parade – I already mentioned this one. The other Pittsburgh parades just aren’t the same, but I’m open to suggestion. Labor Day is the most apropos, I think.
2. Celebrity Judge – This is a secret longing of mine. I was one time a celebrity judge for a Halloween costume contest in the basement of Pegasus which was fun. I think I’m up for the task with my critical thinking skills, but I am a blunt person. I could be a darkhorse judge.
3. Ribbon Cutting – It would be super flattering if someone considered me a suitable person to launch their business efforts. Also, I’d love one of those awkward photos of a group of well-heeled folks holding a giant ribbon with big grins and surrounded by dirt and machinery.
4. Pittsburgh Today Live – Okay, so this is my real dream. I want to talk about #AMPLIFY with Kristine Sorensen and Jon Burnett. I don’t know why this is so important to me. Maybe because it seems impossible? Maybe because I know the viewers of this show are people who need to read these blog posts and connect with our lived experiences? Maybe because not a single person that I know feels comfortable ASKING them to consider a segment with me and some AMPLIFIERS? It feels like that gold ticket is somewhere.
5. Queen of Mardi Gras on Northside – In 2016, Pittsburgh’s Northside launched a successful neighborwide Mardi Gras celebration culminating by crowning Rick Sebak as the King of Mardi Gras. How fitting it would be to pass the crowd to me who lives on the Northside, lived in Louisiana for three years (lots of beads, my dear readers and I snagged a coconut one year ….) and loves to share the lore of the King Cake with my friends each year. I’m just saying.
6. Pgh Dad appearance – not an appearance per se since no one really appears, but a reference.
7. Box seats to see something – I’d like to watch a Pirates or Steelers game from a box seat with access to a bathroom, wi-fi, warmth and some snacks. The Pgh City Paper does not have box seats. LOL. Lots of my friends talk about being invited to the corporate box seats. SueCat Social Media does not have box seats (and if we did, they would be occupied by cats – boom!) Imagine the witty banter I can offer your corporate guests about LGBTQ issues?
8. Banned Book Reader – another annual event (Banned Book Week) in which I’d love to participate as a reader. I like to read. I read lots of books. I want people to read my blog and all the blogs. A blogger themed reading! Reading books by bloggers! This could be super meta!
9. Branding – a complete line of PghLesbian branded items, shirts, coffee mugs, flashdrives, etc. A Smiley Cookie shaped like my logo? A line of coffee from one of the local coffee-making people? Dare I suggest – a mini donut? Hee hee.
10. Spokeslesbian Opportunities – Want me to drive your cars to my #AMPLIFY events? Use your laptop/tablet? Wear your sneakers and/or bathrobe? Use your patent pending designed cat litter scoop? The potential is there. Hit me up.
11. Talk Radio – we got our start in talk radio and that was fun. I can’t laugh as much as I used to because of the White Supremacist President, but I can talk a good game about many contemporary and historical LGBTQ issues. (I miss Paul – sigh.) If you want a real fun time, ask me to join Tony Norman and Chris Potter, both of whom are delightfully self-aware of their privilege when discussing lots of feminist and queer issues. Good stuff.
12. BlogMobs – still trying to make this happen.

This was fun. Thanks for reading. Always, thanks for reading. That’s the best part of all of this.

PS – put in a good word with Kristine and Jon for me, will ya?