LGBTQ&A: Mombian Blogger Dana Rudolph Creates a Space for Queer and Trans Families

“I launched the Mombian Database of LGBTQ Family Books in early 2021 to help people find the books they are seeking in this rapidly-growing genre. The database includes reviews of LGBTQ-inclusive books for ages 0-12 and books for grown-ups about LGBTQ parenting. (I don’t review young adult books or I’d never sleep; also, my audience is mostly parents, and young adults are more likely to be choosing their own books.) Each item is categorized and tagged by age group, topic(s) and various aspects of identity.”

While I can’t remember how I met Dana Rudolph, her blog has been an important part of our journey here. We interact on social media, email groups, occasionally in person. We share the distinction as two-time winners of ‘Outstanding Blog’ by GLAAD media awards – only three women have that honor. I’ve been a longtime participants in the Blogging for LGBTQ Families she organizes each year. And I just love reading her book reviews. I wish I had access to a fraction of these books myself or even when my nephews and nieces were young.

She graciously agreed to a Q&A that I am folding into our LGBTQ&A series. I hope to include other voices, too.

Your Name: Dana Rudolph

Your Pronouns: she/her

How do you describe your identity?

I am a cisgender lesbian, a White, Ashkenazi Jewish woman, and a mother.

Tell us about your life outside of blogging. What is your professional calling?

My professional experience is in Internet strategy, content, and marketing, and I’ve worked at a startup, a Fortune 100 firm, and a nonprofit, as well as a freelancer.

What is Mombian?

Mombian is a two-time GLAAD Media Award-winning blog and resource directory for lesbian moms and other queer parents, offering a mix of parenting, politics, diversions, and resources, including a searchable database of 1400+ LGBTQ family books.

On your website, you wrote “I founded Mombian in 2005 after noting a lack of sites with current, practical news and information for LGBTQ parents, or sites that looked at other aspects of LGBTQ culture with a parent’s eye.” Can you give some examples of how that lack of coverage looked in 2005?

In 2005, the LGBTQ sites rarely covered parenting topics and the mainstream parenting sites rarely covered LGBTQ topics. I saw a gap there that needed to be filled.

When I started blogging, interaction with other bloggers often sparked long comment threads or even new blog posts. These days, my interactions are more likely to be on social media or online forums, which both give me ideas for what to write and offer useful feedback on what I have already written.

Now in 2023, it is almost impossible to imagine overlooking parents and/or LGBTQ families, especially with the laser focus on our youth. What role do books and other media play in preparing youth and their families to resist this bullying?

First, books and media offer representation to LGBTQ youth and youth with LGBTQ parents, which can boost self-understanding and self-confidence. They can also help children of other identities learn about the LGBTQ people and families in their world, banishing fears and misunderstandings. Some books can provide specific storylines about how to resist bullying, which can at times be useful—but I strongly believe that not every LGBTQ-inclusive book should be about bullying or trauma or even “about” being LGBTQ. Sometimes simply having representation, even if the story is centered on something totally different, is enough.

One hallmark of your blog is the creation of LGBTQ Families Day in June. Why do we need that day and how has it evolved?

LGBTQ Families Day is a time to celebrate the many families in every state and almost every county of the U.S. that have LGBTQ people in them. It aims to raise awareness of the diversity, challenges, and joys of all LGBTQ families—found, formed, and chosen—who exist throughout our society. The event is held at the start of June, between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, in order to honor both, but also to highlight that not all families fit into the traditional structure of one mother and one father.

The event began as “Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day,” a time for bloggers to post in celebration and support of LGBTQ families—their own or otherwise. Over the years, it has expanded across other social media and even into the real world, e.g., at the signing of the Connecticut Parentage Act on June 1, 2021, one of the speakers noted that it was LGBTQ Families Day. Participants on social media have included White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre and U.S. Interior Secretary Deb Haaland, as well as lots of us everyday folks.

What other parenting blogs do you read?

These days, I read parenting content not only from blogs but also social media, and I try to read about families that both look like my own in some way(s) and that don’t. There are so many I read that I’m going to refrain from specific names, or I’ll end up leaving out someone I should have mentioned.

Your site hosts a database of LGBTQ books. How did that get started? How much time do you devote to it?

I have reviewed LGBTQ-inclusive books for and about children and parents since I started the blog, but for many years, there were only a handful each year. Starting around 2017, this number skyrocketed. I launched the Mombian Database of LGBTQ Family Books in early 2021 to help people find the books they are seeking in this rapidly-growing genre.

The database includes reviews of LGBTQ-inclusive books for ages 0-12 and books for grown-ups about LGBTQ parenting. (I don’t review young adult books or I’d never sleep; also, my audience is mostly parents, and young adults are more likely to be choosing their own books.) Each item is categorized and tagged by age group, topic(s) and various aspects of identity. I spend many hours each week reading the books, writing the reviews, and reaching out to publishers for review copies.

Do you have a favorite book or one that you often recommend?

No—there are so many good ones now that it’s hard to choose, and it really depends upon what the reader is looking for in terms of age range, genre, tone, and representation.

As of this post, your database has 1400 entries. How do you find new books? Have you read each of them?

I track news put out by the publishing industry and I keep my ear to the ground on social media, particularly for books from smaller presses. I have read every book in the database except for a small handful of older, outdated books that I included simply for reference.

Are there glaring gaps in books in terms of age or identity or genres?

Age-wise, things have gotten a lot better, particularly among picture books and middle-grade titles. Early readers and chapter books still lag a bit, although there are a growing number of those as well. I’d love to see more books with transgender and nonbinary parents (there are already a fair number with trans and nonbinary kids); with entire families of color; ones that show a kid with LGBTQ parents getting a sibling; ones that show LGBTQ families celebrating various holidays (aside from Pride, for which there are numerous titles now); ones that explore other, intersectional aspects of their identities; and that aren’t “about” being LGBTQ but that don’t ignore characters’ LGBTQ identities when relevant. There are some books in each of those areas already, but we need more.

Has the publication of these books played a part in raising awareness of the needs of LGBTQ families?

I’d like to think so—but again, not all of these books are “about” being an LGBTQ family per se. Sometimes they’re just fun adventures that happen to have LGBTQ characters. To the extent that the latter type of story still helps to show that we are part of the world and not to be feared, then yes, I think even those books help raise awareness of our needs.

Have you considered writing a book?

For parents, yes–I have more than 18 years of blog posts and nearly 17 years of a biweekly Mombian newspaper column, so surely I have enough content. It’s now a matter of organizing and seeing what is still evergreen (or of historical interest). If you’re talking about a kids’ book, the idea has certainly crossed my mind, but having reviewed so many, I am also aware that it’s a lot harder than it may seem. Never say never, though!

Blogs typically have a brief shelf life of 2-3 years, but you and I along with other LGBTQ bloggers have been at it for much longer. Is there anything unique about LGBTQ identity or experiences that leads to this longevity?

I don’t think the longevity is LGBTQ specific. I’ve seen many LGBTQ bloggers stop blogging over the years. At the same time, the ongoing need for social justice is part of what drives me to keep going, but I don’t think that is unique to LGBTQ people, either.

How does interaction with other bloggers inform your work?

Do you have a vision for the future of the archive?

While I have no plans right now to stop the blog, I imagine I will at some point. I would love for my writing, which charts the climate and milestones of much of LGBTQ parenting history during the early 21st century, to be archived somewhere so that it is not lost, but I do not yet know what that place will be.

Where can my readers find you on social media?

I’m on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter/X, and most of the new Twitter/X clones, all with the “mombian” handle.

Thank you, Dana.

Interacting with other bloggers and content creators has been part and parcel of our work since Day One. Having a chance to take a deeper dive behind the scenes is valued. I urge you to add each one to your regular online reading.