How to celebrate 54 lesbian birthdays

My big day is here – birthday 54. I am firmly in my mid-fifties. And I’m good.

No big plans. Having lunch with a friend. Then I’m going to enjoy some birthday cake from Prantels while watching ‘When Harry Met Sally.’  On a DVD, no less. By myself or rather with the cats.

My birthday anxiety is amazingly low. Typically, it is a very tough time for me, probably due to childhood neglect. My wife tried hard to navigate that minefield each year and I did not make it easy for her. But she didn’t have the tools in her toolkit. Her birthday was tough, too. It is true that you put the people closest to you through the most hell because you think they are safe. That is a very bad operating philosophy.

So this year, I did a few fun simple things the past several days. Today, I opted not “to people” and just kicked around the house relaxing. I completed enough tasks to feel accomplished.

Still, if you are inclined to celebrate with me, I won’t refuse. But I won’t be devastated if no one does. The past year has shifted my perspective on what matters.

I will never again take relaxing with birthday cake and a movie in my home of 19 years with my cats for granted. Being unable to celebrate birthday 53 here was devastating. It was more about being literally homeless (couch surfing counts) and unmoored as things were shaking out.

I hoped I would be back here for this birthday. With your help, I made that happen. While things are far from settled, day to day life is relatively stable and peaceful – with a lot of work, planning, and support.

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Investing in My Projects

These are projects through Pittsburgh LGBTQ Charities that are close to my heart.

Dr. John P. Ruffing VMD Pet Food Pantry

Holiday Pet Food Drive

#PghCatFolx Fort Faulsey Cat Colonies

We wrapped up our Protect Trans Kids yard sign project, but stay tuned for our next phase.

In Conclusion

Yesterday, I washed my hair. Today, I put fresh sheets on the bed. I turned in an article I was asked to write. We moved a shed. I ordered Chinese food and watched ‘Young Frankenstein’ with one nephew. I went for a ride and a Starbucks stop with the other. I admired my Halloween inflatables in the backyard.

I have many reasons to celebrate, everyday rituals and small traditions to appreciate. I’m resilient, competent, and believe I can handle whatever comes next. Those are pretty good gifts.

And I don’t have to share my cake …

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