Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

It has been 18 years since I last saw you, laid out stiffly in your coffin. It wasn’t you – you curled up, you fidgeted, you made big gestures, you drove me crazy with your constant shifting . You weren’t physically still. That’s how I knew for sure that you were gone. Your body was empty. I can’t adequately capture in words that horrible moment.

I’ve had a few more horrible moments since then, some pretty recent. The difference is that you didn’t want to leave me and you never, ever walked away. That’s not true of everyone.

Every year the sadness and desolation come back to me on this day, the day you came into this world in 1966. I write this post, revisiting the same themes to create an impression on my readers and remind the whole big world that you were here and changed the world for the better. That you were here for 41 years, years that mattered. Friendship and love matter.

I’m not afraid to be on my own, I had lived by myself quite a bit. But I realize I ALWAYS had you during those times. I wasn’t alone at all because there was you. You never failed to show up for me, even when I was ridiculous and messy and difficult. You were beside me for over 20 years. Sometimes we were simply lonely together and that was okay.

It is different now. I’ll be alone – you won’t be here to help me move on, to walk with me, to hold my hand. But I’ll figure it out. You thought this world had nothing good to offer anyone. The world brought you to me in 1985 and that was a very good thing.

The exciting news is that the Dr. John P. Ruffing VMD Pet Food Pantry is a real, tangible tribute to you. I know, I know that you preferred dogs to cats. But we are starting to have more dog food requests. And I know you would feed any hungry being if you could. I keep trying to call the pantry ‘The Ruff’ but it is not catching on, yet.

“Oh, Susie,” you’d sigh. “Why did you make a fuss about me? There are more important people in the world.”

I don’t want to forget you. I don’t want the world to forget you.

My best friend Dr. John Ruffing died 17 years ago. His legacy is now a pet food pantry. November 9, 2024 by Sue

Was Dr. John P. Ruffing Your Veterinarian? Celebrate His Birthday! April 15, 2024 by Sue

My Best Friend’s Funeral: I’m Still Crying 15 Years Later April 17, 2022 by Sue

Annual Dr. John P. Ruffing DVM Memorial Pet Food Drive April 1, 2022 by Sue

Honor the Life and Death of Dr. John Ruffing With a Pet Food Donation Today November 9, 2021 by Sue

My Best Friend, Dr. John Ruffing April 16, 2021 by Sue

Honoring the Dead October 31, 2020 by Sue

And I Owe It All To You – Remembering my friend, John Ruffing November 8, 2019 by Sue

The Dr. John P Ruffing Memorial Animal Care Fund April 17, 2017 by Sue

My Friend John Should Be Turning 50 Today April 17, 2016 by Sue

My Dear John Letter November 9, 2015 by Sue

The Best Friend I Ever Had March 13, 2014 by Sue

One year November 9, 2008 by Sue

When Lesbians Don’t Weep November 14, 2007 by Sue

I always include a video. Remember when we saw Air Supply at the Allegheny County Fair a million years ago? I love that these best friends are still together, still creating together, still have that energy. They are still in harmony.