In today's column, Cat Specter taps into her inner-Harriet Nelson to dish out some spectacularly dated 1950's crap advice for her "girl" readers. 

First, a reader asks for advice on being set up for a date with the son of her parents' friends, a date on which she does not want to go.  Specter tells her that she has to go for risk of embarrassing her parents or offending their friends with the implication that their son is not datable. 

Wow, if I lived my life to avoid embarrassing my parents or offending their friends, I'd pretty much not be openly gay, not be a social worker, not be a liberal, and defintely not writing this blog  --- I would not be me.  But maybe the reader values her parents' comfort more than her own and will suppress her instincts to go on this date.  She might get a car, house in Cranberry Township, two kids and the occasional new outfit out of it.

Then there's the anti-woman kicker:

Who knows, maybe he's equally averse to dating you, which could make him more attractive.

Now that's CATTY.  What the hell kind of advice columnists INSULTS her readers -- all of her women readers? 

And then she does it again in the next round of advice.  A concerned dad writes in to ask how to push his 37 year old daughter into marriage with her boyfriend of four years.  Specter starts off strong by explaining that marriage is his goal, not necessarily hers and he should relax a little and let her follow her own instincts without judging her.   Then she points out that marriage to this guy might not even be an option because he probably won't buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free.

You're right that he probably won't marry her if he can get it all without walking down the aisle, but she may be of the same mind.

What is the "all" that he is getting --- a long-term, committed healthy relationship with a mature woman who shares his values about marriage?  Or ongoing access to her vagina with no strings?

CORRESPONDENT'S CALL:  Darryl Metcalfe would be proud!

Tune into John McIntire on KDKA Monday evening 7-10 PM when he interviews lesbian traitorous Mary Cheney. 

h/t Page One Q

Click here for video ....

Bennett: Well I think if gay..gay people are already members of families?

Stewart: What? (almost spitting out his drink)

Bennett: They?re sons and they?re daughters..

Stewart: So that?s where the buck stops, that?s the gay ceiling.

Bennett Look, it?s a debate about whether you think marriage is between a man and a women.

Stewart:I disagree, I think it?s a debate about whether you think gay people are part of the human condition or just a random fetish.

Perhaps he's run out of things to say or perhaps he just had writer's block.  Either way, its mildly annoying that the good Mr. Mervis, entertainment guru of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, had to go there.   Where, you ask?

Here's a hint.  He's was writing up the Western Pennsylvania Faerie Festival.

For certain people, particularly men who are a little insecure about their manhood, it might be hard to tell their friends that they are going to the Fairie Festival this weekend

It's going to arouse some snickers, but ... well, no buts. It sounds funny. Period.

That's so lame. 

Scott, this whole event is screaming out "HOMO" .... faeries, queens, gossamer wings, men in tights ...in the kind of way that would give a City Paper columnist lots of satirical fodder, but probably wouldn't fly with the good readers of the Post-Gazette. 

I feel for you, man. 

As our friend and blogging colleague David posted over at 2 Political Junkies, a source  alleges that a Santorum operative snuck into a Stonewall Democrat VIP party Friday night to secretly record speeches.  When approached by the Stonewall Dems, he fled into the night as if the Allegheny County police had surrounded his bathroom.

OK, that was lame.

Anyway, tonight our other good friend John McIntire will talk with a rep from the Steel City Stonewall Demorat chapter about this invasion of privacy.  Tune into KDKA 1020 on your AM dial.

AND ... John will check in with your lesbian correspondent (that would be me) about the wild and wacky FMA situation. 

All in the 7 o'clock hour.  

Here's a delightful photo of the yinzer queen herself, Senator Jane Orie (it scanned very poorly - but you can still get the point).  She at the "Cannon Ball" benefiting Soldiers and Sailers  -- hence the jaunty cap.  I'm not sure how to explain the hair, but I suspect no one can. 

Senator Orie is one Republican who could benefit from some gay male friends. 

I hate those ads for Hurl magazine  - "Whirl Magazine - Are you In?"   What a load of elitist propaganda.  I thumbed through this edition while waiting for our hairstylist to work on my partner's mop.  It provided endless fodder for a steady stream of withering commentary from moi, commentary that made the hairstylist laugh far too much when wielding scissors. 

It seems the only black people who get included in the photos are either a Steeler or attending a black event.  Which reinforces the notion that the vast majority of  la-de-da events are white only.  Inviting Jerome Bettis to your fundraiser for low income women doesn't exactly count as diversity. 

Hurl is the bastard sister of the PG's voyeur rag, Seen.  My one and only experience with seen was at a 2004 fundraiser for the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force.  We were having a little chat with local LGBT woman about town Dinah Denmark when I heard this huge sucking sound behind me.  I turned to see Patricia Sheridan oozing her way across the floor heading right for Dinah.  She had her photolackey snap a shot of us and then went off in search of other ass to kiss.  The following Monday, Dinah was smiling out from the Post-Gazette --- with Laura and I neatly cut out of the photo!  So the closest I've been to Seen has been the cutting room floor somewhere in the bowels of the PG. 

Obviously, I'm bitter.  :-)   

DNC Chairman Howard Dean was in town this weekend to address the annual convention of the National Stonewall Democrats aka "gay Democrats."  Dean told the assembled faithful that Stonewall has made the party "stronger, more inclusive, more courageous, more tenacious." (PG)

Mr. Dean said DNC operatives had been instructed to work with the gay community and trained to discuss gay-rights issues with straight voters.

He told the Stonewall group, 'We need you to reach out to the straight community.'

Reach out to the straight community? What the hell does he think we do everyday - live in a queers only bubble? 

While reporter Joe Smydo was quick to get some comments from the Sanctimonious camp, he failed to even touch on some of the recent gay controversy swirling around Dean's leadership.  (Washington Blade)

First, Dean eliminated the LGBT outreach desk late last year as part of a strategic realignment, assuring the community that the DNC would continue to reach out to gays.

Then in February, the DNC published its annual grassroot activity report without a single reference to LGBT grassroots activities. 

Third, in early May, Dean fired gay outreach advisor Donald Hitchcock just weeks after Hitchcock's partner publicly criticized the DNC for failing to protect gay rights.

For his coup d'etat, Dean went on The 700 Club.  Yes, Dean made time in his schedule to reach out to the Pat Robertson crowd.  Later, Dean had to issue an apology for informing Robertson's viewers that the Democrat party platform stated marriage was between a man and a woman.  Gay groups responded in outrage.  Dean does intend to return to The 700 Club for future appearances.  Click here for Shakespeare Sister's recap of Pat Robertson's more outrageous (?divisive?) comments.

Did anyone from the media even ASK Dean about these issues?  Did anyone from Stonewall?   I couldn't because Stonewall didn't want bloggers covering their convention.  We aren't a "valid media."   I guess no one bothered to tell Dean that during the 2004 campaign, but whatever.  Or perhaps bloggers might ask actual questions that put Stonewall on the spot.  Wouldn't want that. 

It appears that the PG editors prefer to spin Dean's appearance as an anti-Santorum story than to do any concrete reporting on current gay politics.  To be fair, they have probably sent an intern into the bowels of the Boulevard to drag out and dust off the tired old gay cliches for the June 17 PrideFest article.  Last year's trivial little article by Caitlin Cleary is a good example of how little concern the PG has for accurate reporting on gay issues.  But I digress ...

h/t to 2 Political Junkies for a transcript of the entire Dean speech.

Last night, we toddled off to The Eagle to catch Steel Queer N'At, a quarterly performance of Pittsburgh queer talent put together by a local eclectic queer art collective.  For months, we've talked about going to the monthly K'vetch performances (third Thursdays at Modern Formations in Garfield), but something always came up. So this was our big chance to see what all the fuss was about.

It was awesome (except for one detail I'll get to later).  The organizers did a great job staging an outrageous, sexy show that made me think and, even more importantly, made me want to take some action ... to pick up my pen, pick up my picket sign and pick my ass up off the couch. 

The performers were this amazing group of rowdy, righteous, motivated babes (and a few gents) who had something important ... a whole lotta something important .... to say and did it with style and words and music and movement that left the audience panting for more.  In a good way.  

It was also easily the most diverse group of queer women I've encountered in Pgh.  Most every gay event is pure white with maybe one or two token minorities.  And most every gay event organizers claim that they don't know how to connect with gay minorities.  Perhaps they should get in touch with the collective because they seem to be doing a fine job.

We loved 'em all for speaking their truth, for speaking out loud and for getting up on that stage to just speak. 

The next Steel Queer N'At should be in October.  We'll post it here with plenty of advance warning so you can catch the show. October is also the Celebrate the Night performance night, but we'll post on that separately.

Now here's our concern.  The performers howled about women taking back control of our bodies, our sexuality, our health and our identity.  They called out corporate America for filling our bodies with poisons and to society for boxing us in with few choices.  It was chilling and it was the truth.

It was also done in a room filled with smoke.  And there lies the rub.  If I wanted to hear the message, I had no choice but to expose myself to second hand smoke for the entire evening.  Every smoker in that room took away my control over the very air I breathe.  To hear their message, I had to sacrifice my own ability to breath and speak.  How is this inclusive or empowering? 

I respect that each woman, each person, in that room has the right to choose to smoke, but they shouldn't have the right to force me to smoke, too.   If someone drank too much or acted obnoxiously, I could choose to move away.  There's was nowhere to hide from the smoke.  I had to leave the space to reclaim my breath. 

On their website, they write:

We are creating a new aesthetic and we do this collectively because it is absolutely necessary for our health, well-being and struggle.

If you take the beauty industry to task for seducing us into inserting carcinogens into our vaginas, what about the tobacco industry's well-documented coercion of smokers?  Studies show that lesbians are 70% more likely to smoke than heterosexual women; 25 % of lesbians smoke.  I can't find the stats on the incidents of lung cancer and emphysema for lesbians versus heterosexual women, but I'm guessing there's a statistically significant difference. 

That means roughly 75% of us don't smoke.  Why force us to compromise our health to be part of the Steel Queer N'At experience?  Why not have a smoke-free event and ask the smokers to respect me and my choices about MY health enough to step outside? Even make the performance area itself smoke free and have the smokers go downstairs to the third floor to smoke -- its not even outside.  If a few smokers choose not to attend, I guarantee more non-smokers will gladly take their seats. 

A smoke-free event would rock.  I want to go again and want to take my women friends with me, but they won't willingly go into an environment where they can't breathe freely.  No one should.

Look for another post soon comparing and critiquing the lesbian performance experiences in Pittsburgh.

And check out the Steel Queer N'At collective for a consciousness raising jolt to your LGBT identity.  You won't regret it.

I woke up with one of those sinus headaches slightly reminiscent of a hangover without the fun memories.  Another crappy Friday to muddle through. I'm scrolling through the online edition of the Post-Gazette and I stumble into the return of my all-time favorite columnist - Mr. Tony Norman.  PLUS, he even makes a gay joke about himself. 

"But here we are again, dear readers, stumbling into each other's arms for yet another awkward dance of indeterminate years. Oh, how I've missed your early morning coffee breath, your sighs of agreement and your belligerent howls of skepticism."