Did you know the Firehouse Lounge was lesbian-friendly?  I never thought about it one way or another.  My class president was considering it for our 20th year reunion, but we went another direction.  Maybe that's too bad ...anyway, if you want to hang out and watch the L-word, maybe this is an option.  Let me know what it is like. 

h/t to correspondent localmotionpgh

Last night, Ledcat and I tottered off to the Brillo Box to see our friend and gal-pal Gabrielle Bonesso's Christmas Comedy Special.  On a school night.  In a room filled with smoke.  And, in spite of Ms. Gab's promises, not a single cookie in sight. 

That's how much we love her.

Almost the entire lineup of local comics were twentysomething, underemployed, pudgy, poorly dressed young men with the age-typical obsession with bathroom behavior, getting high and saying "fuck" as many times as possible in one breath.  It was the weirdest experience ... as if I was trapped in a room filled with the love children of Jim Belushi (yes, Jim and not John) and Seth Rogan.  It was a scene right out of "Knocked Up."

My favorite moment was when this guy wearing one of those creepy Steeler man-dresses tried to explain why Christmas is a gay holiday and based his argument on Christmas lights being gay.  Don't ask.  I guess the homoerotic thrill of being wrapped in the man-sweaty embrace of Ben Roethlisberger's shirt cut off the supply of funny to his mouth.  Or elsewhere.  He gave up and didn't seem to appreciate my disapproving middle-age lesbian frown.  Whatever. I have a job AND health insurance.  He does look better than me in a dress, I have to say.

Actually, some of the comedians were funny.  Gab shined even though she had to go home and go to bed early.  The cello playing hottie was pretty amusing except for the fact that we could not quite discern the lyrics.  I'd like to see her again only with a better sound system.  Seth Rogan's younger brother was there and apparently he is quite the ad libber.  I think there's another word for that, but it was pretty much like Mad-Libs with a lot of marijuana references and sad sack jokes about not getting laid. Ho hum. 

The award for best-dressed and actually funniest comedian goes to ... Johnny Mac who pushed the envelope so far it came out looking like one of those fold up little swans,  John significantly butched up the show to a full out metrosexual love fest. Even if he is a pervert.  Ick, ick, ick.  The social worker in me is APPALLED.

I did laugh, but on the drive home it occured to me that the reason I have never heard of any of these guys is that they just aren't that original.  The jokes were pretty interchangeable and it seemed like they were really performing for each other.  Which is fine, but not very creative.  How hard is to make the long-haired stoner with the three day in a row hoodie and a really cool MySpace page laugh?  Seriously.  Toss one of these shlubs into a room filled with lesbians and let's see what they can do. 

Just lose the man-dress, dude. 

Ledcat and I rolled into Point Breeze today for the Handmade Arcade which is giant fair of handmade stuff held at Construction Junction.

Last year, I enjoyed the event with a few reservations, most notably about my number one bitch -- gigunda baby strollers.  This year, the event was spread over two days and we intentionally waited until Sunday afternoon which was a major good decision on our part.  We caught a decent parking space, nimbly side stepped the rude folks chit chatting at the front entrance and hit the tables. 

I have to admit there was a ton of cool shit.  Purses, wallets, headbands, tee shirts, belts, lotions, potions and more.  We had a nice time just browsing the tables and chatting with the vendors. 

We found a couple of gifts and I bought some soap for myself.  Ledcat's mom told us to stop buying bottles of shower gel because of the plastic.  So I'm going to try and go back to a bar of soap.  I hate soap slime so this will be a real test for me.  I bought soap that smells like cedar so it will sort of be like showering in my closet.  Whatever. 

Great improvements include expanding to two days (see above).  Bringing in the Franktuary to provide sustenance was stellaer.  There's something about a fair that demands a hotdog so I was glad to get one from a cool place.  With chips.  Something to think for next year -- a few tables so we could stand and put our stuff down and chow down quickly.  Instead, we improvised with a recycling bins and the unusually large pockets in my sweatshirt. Think tables. Also, CoCos Cupcakes from Shadyside was there.  Delish-us.  I bought one to eat and a half dozen to take to my parents house for dinner. The map was helpful. 

I was a little disappointed that so many of the crafts were duplicative and rather frou frou. I wrote this last year:

Here's a question I have.  The article in the PG ran the following quote from an event organizer and I must be on slow-mo because I just don't get it:

"Its genesis was in alternative culture, and wanting to produce something just for the act of producing it, and to bring an artistic sensibility to that act of producing it," said another Arcade organizer, Elizabeth Prince, 31.

If we produce for the sake of production, then aren't we contributing to a consumption culture?  Or is the assumption that things are produced NOT for consumption necessarily?  But how could you afford to do it? 

Event organizer, Gloria Forouzan responded in the comments section:

I believe that what my co-organizer, Elizabeth was saying in her quote, (??wanting to produce something just for the act of producing it??), is that indie crafters make crafts for the sheer joy of creating beautiful/funny/odd things with their hands.

I'm still not convinced.  I understand that it is fun to create (or recreate) something, but I'm still wondering about the utility factor.  Ledcat pointed out that you can't exactly make useful items such as kitchen utensils.  But, I pointed out, you can make pot holders and placemats and napkins and dish towels.  Something we use on a regular are throws for our sofa.  Imagine a throw constructed from blue jeans with cool patches or stencils.  We would buy something like that and use it.  It just seems that making cool pretty useful things would be higher on the chain of socially conscious actions than cool pretty stuff you can really only look at. 

Is there such a thing as conspicuous creation?

However, it was fine to attend and pick up some soap and a certain item that just might be a gift for Ledcat.  We bumped into some gals about town.  We had some amusing experiences with the dumpster divers when we dropped off our recycling.  I don't think someone diving into a dumpster to go through discards should push aside someone bringing more discard offerings.  Kind of like biting the hand that feeds you.  Apparently, there was a run on nursing school handbooks from the University of Pittsburgh.

One of the vendors told me that only 10 or so of the vendors were local.  What?  Can that be true?  She told me about another fun sounding event coming up -- I Made It! which seems to be this floating semi-regular event featuring all local DIYers.  It is coming up on Saturday December 8 in Homestead.  That is the worst possible week of the year for me, but the event goes until 8 PM so it might be doable. 

Still, only ten local vendors?  That just doesn't seem balanced.  Someone fill me in. 

If I'm going to do soap, it would be nice for it to be yinzer soap.  :-)

I would say go to Handmade Arcade next year.  Support your local crafters who are doing their part to reuse and spread a little beauty in the world.  Have a hot dog and a cupcake (or two). 

This came via email.  Tuesday, October 30 at Chatham, 7 PM.  For more info: 

Phone: 412-365-1100

E-mail: mbattle@chatham.edu or klesnock@chatham.edu  

Forbes ranked Pittsburgh low on the list of places good for a singles scene.  I read this little article, including the sidebar profiles and thought "whine, whine, whine."  On a bright note, they even included a token homo in their list. 

What really gets me about all this whining is the sense of entitlement -- the expectation that if you sit back and wait (like a good girl) -- the wonderful world of exciting dates and social connections will magically flow to your feet. 

I know it is difficult to meet someone decent, kind and trustworthy.  But there's only so many bars you can crawl out of before it must occur to you that you've turned over all those rocks and it is time to move on.  Life is not like "The Bachelor" where the beauteous babes are paid to fawn all over you. 

When I got fed up with being single and meeting a series of unhealthy people, I made a New Years Resolution to try one new lesbian activity each month.  I figured it would get me out of the house, expose me to new people and expand my circle of friends.  The only rule is that I had to try something new each month.  At my first event (lesbian potluck), I met someone.  It didn't work out, but it was a promising start.  I tried lesbian brunches, PFLAG meetings, volunteer orientation sessions, IT teams, more potlucks, picnics, church services and it was all great. Except for the Cajun dancing in Homestead which sent me home in tears, clutching the comfort pint of Ben and Jerrys, but we can't win them all ...

In June, I went to a women's discussion group at the Gay & Lesbian Community Center and that's where I met Ledcat.  The rest is ourstory.  Along the way, I accumulated quite an assortment of great friends.

My point is that a lively social life is something you MAKE, not something you are given.  If the places where you spend your time aren't meeting your social needs, then you can either blame the place or move onto something new. 

Worst Pittsburgh dating hang-up: Men don't approach women anymore. "I can't seem to find a man who understands the concept of picking me up at the door, taking me to dinner, a concert, or a museum. I would love to have a date who doesn't call me and say, 'Meet me at Bar Louie around 10.' "

Well, if you spend your time with the men who do that, how are the other men gonna stand a chance?  Just don't go.  Do something else and hold out for someone who meets your expectations.  OR offer to pick him up and take him to a museum.  Sheesh.

I like this guy.

Worst Pittsburgh dating hang-up: "When someone says they're not finding the right kind of people that's because we're all spoiled. People are used to immediate gratification and if we don't get it, we go home and watch the Steelers. ... If we found the right person right away, it would be too easy and we'd think something was wrong with them."

This was my favorite comment.

Why isn't Pittsburgh a good place for singles? "It's young everywhere you go," she says. "And if it's [an] older [crowd], it's way too old. When all you keep hearing is, 'You've got great teeth. You have really beautiful teeth,' it's just too old."

Teeth.  Reminds me of when my fomer neighbor wanted me to go with her to some Holiday Inn bar because the old men would buy us dinner and all the drinks we wanted.  Ick, ick, ick.

My biggest hang up is people thinking there's some theme bar god up in the sky that's going to drop a club right into Pittsburgh that meets your exact expectations.  The lesbian they interviewed was rather articulate, but she longs for a nice LGBT bar/club that isn't a hole in the wall.  Sounds reasonable ... but there was such a place called True on the Northside. It was predominantly male, but women have to show and spend their money to be customers.  The owner isn't going to toss out the gays to make ways for the lesbians. 

I hear this "lesbian bar" stuff all the time. Lesbian bars do not appear to be financially sustainable in Pittsburgh or else there would be one.  I wouldn't go b/c I don't like bars, but I'd be fine if one opened.  It would certainly stop a lot of whining about the good old days when we had "Bloomers" and such nostalgia.  While I appreciate the sense of loss, for those of us under 40 it starts to get a little tiring hearing this over and over and over.

There are plenty of places to go to have nice conversation with other people -- it is the bar theme that seems to get people hung up.  You can't have it all.  Do some volunteer work, make a few friends, have lunch and expand your horizons.  Go to church and sign up for a committee. 

I think Pittsburgh is a good place to be single because there are so many affordable activities to pursue, activities which create the opportunity to expand your social network. 

You could even go Cajun dancing.  I'll have the Ben & Jerry's in the freezer for ya.

ps:  while I appreciate someone taking a cab rather than driving drunk, I have to say it made me laugh out loud when people said public transportation should be expanded to give them the opportunity to hook up with their latest drunken conquest ... now that's the kind of thinking that's gonna revolutionalize the City ...

First, some upcoming queer things to do in Pittsburgh ...

OUTrageous Bingo is this Saturday, September 15 at Goodwill's building on the Southside.  This is a good time and benefits two local causes -- the GLCC and Shepherd Wellness Center. 

"Dining for Diversity" also takes place Saturday evening from 9 - 11:30 @ SPACE downtown.  Wine, dessert, silent auction, dessert, lesbians, dessert ... it is all good.  This event benefits GLENDA.  How cool is this --- GLENDA will take the proceeds from their silent auction and donate them to another organization, Shepherd Wellness Center.  GLENDA volunteers do a lot of good stuf for my foster care program so I am all about them. 

"GAY DAY at the Zoo" will be Sunday, September 16.  I love the zoo and I love gays, but I also love to wear clean clothes so I'll be at home that day :-(  

Square Cafe -- Jamie Anderson and Tracy Drach play some tunes on Friday, September 21 from 7:30 - 10:00 PM.  Our friends invited us and there is hummus so we are there. 

Singer/Songwriter - Check out transgender singer/songwriter Namoli Brennet on Weds Sept 26 from 12 PM - 1 PM at the William Pitt Union.  I'll be at a conference that day.

2007 ImPAct Conference for Young Professionals - Actually, this is rather nice. I attended a few years ago and heard James Carville speak. I like networking events and I believe that young professionals should become foster parents, so I am spending my weekend mingling with YAP.   I get to hear Chris Heinz and, wait for it .... Luke.  This takes place the final weekend of the month.  We need more young LGBTQ professionals attending these events to keep things diverse.

Other stuff ...

I caught this in the Beaver County Times.  Written by the editorial staff ...

One aspect of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig's conduct in a men's bathroom at the Minneapolis airport has been overlooked.
The Idaho Republican claims the reason the undercover police officer saw his hand under the stall wall, which the officer said was a signal for willingness to participate in gay sex, was that Craig was reaching for a piece of toilet paper that was on the floor.
That fails the sniff test. How many of you have ever reached down in a public restroom to pick up a piece of toilet paper off the floor?

So what can you say to that?  There's no name or location to indicate some jerk wrote this as a letter to the editor.  It seems the editors thought of this all by themselves.  Who uses the phrase "sniff test" in this type of story?  Ick, ick, ick.

On another front, BlogActive's Mike Rogers will no longer be reporting on closeted Congressional staffers who work for anti-gay legislators.  He will focus his efforts on the elected officials and candidates for public office themselves.  Rogers broke the story on Robert Traynham, former staff to former Senator Rick Santorum, and Lee Cohen, former PR guru for former Congresswoman Melissa Hart.  Rogers claims that staffers have been feeding him tips, indicating that they've heard his message loud and clear (hypocrites not welcome).  Yahoo has said of Rogers "He's starting to make Capitol Hill look like Brokeback Mountain."  That cracks me up ...

A recent poll shows that nearly 2/3 of Americans think it is unfair that someone is fired because of their sexual orientation.  Read more about it here.

Yesterday was a productive day here at Lesbian Central.  We both had the day off and got started early with a quick blog, a bagel and a several errands.  Stopped by Construction Junction to donate a microwave (poked around, but came up empty handed)and then had lunch at The Quiet Storm.  I have to admit I was not a huge fan of the macaroni and cheese.  I prefer cheddar.  But the lemonade was great and Ledcat always enjoys her hummus.  It was a nice lunch -- quiet, calm and friendly staff.  Next time, I'm gonna try one of the yummy salads.

We managed to fit in a quick dip at the local pool which was empty for about15 minutes.  Just as we were leaving, some dude jumped the fence and appeared to be very disoriented.  I have to applaud the lifeguards for handling that situation really well.  They emptied the pool and organized everyone into manageable clumps.  I mean I didn't even realize what was happening, but suddenly there were lifeguards everywhere.  I was really impressed with the young man who was keeping the man calm until the police arrived.  Which I think took a really long time given that this was a public pool filled with children, but that's just me.  So, hug a lifeguard today.

Anti-climatic to say we hit the farmer's market.  The apple man did not disappoint us -- crunchy tart apples and cider.  We also picked up some corn and zucchini bread from the Amish stand (a new one for this market).  The corn guy gave us two extra ears.  Guess what we are having for dinner?

We were debating catching a movie, but nothing really appealed to us. Then Ledcat remembered that Pink Party Productions was sponsoring an outdoor flick at Schenley Park.  So we packed up some eats, grabbed our chairs and headed for the park.  Only to realize we weren't exactly sure where Flagstaff Hill was.  You know, you kind of think you know, only you don't.  You drive around the park and realize that Pittsburgh Parks really suck at putting up decent signage.  We found the gay's mens cruising spot with no problems, but everyone was a little busy for us to ask directions.  Then we asked a guy at the frisbee place and he told us.  Then we felt like idiots.  It almost ruined my whole evening.  I hate feeling stupid.  Maybe they should put the lifeguards in charge of signage b/c if you aren't sure exactly where you are heading, you just aren't welcome at the citiparks.  Besides, the lifeguards are out of work anyway. 

So, eventually we get there and it appears the first movie is only a few minutes into the story.  It was this really awesome outside movie about a slasher lesbian camping trip.  So bad that it is good, ya know what I mean?  Plus, the killer was named Susan and that felt appropriate after my whole "Where the fuck is Flagstaff Hill?" ordeal.  And I knew it was her after like 5 minutes. 

So the lesbian slasher film restored my good mood. Even though we were the only people in lawn chairs -- that made me feel dowdy. We left before the 2nd flick (Paris is Burning) because it was cold (ah, blessed to be cold again).  Then we encountered another "I feel old" moment when we ended up having to jump off this two and a half foot wall.  I may have mentioned that I have a little fracture in my foot that never really heals and wall-jumping is definitely on the lists of "must avoids."  This nice young women helped us down and called me "ma'am."  So I was crushed.  But not literally and that's what matters.

This was our first Pink Party Productions event.  It was a great idea and it would be fun to do again, even in cooler weather.  I could smell autum in the air yesterday.  While we were swimming, I looked up and remember how it felt as a kid to be back in school, but still have the pool open -- chlorine and homework are not a good mix.

I'm hoping someone will tell me the name of the lesbian slasher film.  And, another shout out, this time to the ladies (and men?) who attended the event.  People were really quiet and respectful.  I mean they were murmuring, but it didn't disrupt the movie.  So, kudos to you, respectful queer women!

Today, I cleaned out my car and discovered that my experiments with the dog ramp have freaked out my dog so that he won't go near the car, even with bologna.  Serious problem.  He can ride in the Civic, but the drool factor is most significant.  So, you know that means that with Mona's chemo all done (she's cancer free!), I'm just going to spend $$ on some archane treatment for Deus. 

I mean, he won't go near the car even for bologna?  That's one traumatized dog. 

I don't think there are any queer events on our calendar in the coming weeks.  Anything going on we should check out? 

Got plans on September 7? You might want to catch the latest film from the Pgh Lesbian & Gay Film Society  -- Tick Tock Lullaby -- at the Southside Works. 

Here's the blurb ....Pittsburgh Lesbian and Gay Film Society is pleased to present Tick
Tock Lullaby on Sept 7th at the SouthSide Works Theater.  Show time
is 9:30 PM with a party afterwards.   And don't forget to join us as
a friend on MySpace.  We got a lot going on so join us!
 
Tick Tock Lullaby
Bursting with smart, tender observations on the travails of
prospective parenthood, Tick Tock Lullaby is a sharply observed three-
part exploration of sexuality and the search for sperm in hip thirty-
something London. Spot-on dialogue, dynamic cinematography and
perfect performances are the highlights of this gently unfolding
intimate portrait of one lesbian couple's struggle with whether (and
how) to have a baby.

Butch-y artist Sasha (writer/director Lisa Gornick) and her attorney
girlfriend Maya's (Brit TV phenom Raquel Cassidy) heterosexual
procreation envy are contrasted with a pair of other baby-making
stories: A single female photographer who wants a child (but not a
relationship) sleeps around with a series of young clueless guys
while her coupled sister and her boyfriend entertain doubts (and sex
and intimacy issues) as they try to make a baby the old-fashioned way.

Sasha's intimate confessions and endearing neuroses touch a lovely,
vulnerable nerve as do her tremendously thoughtful reflections on
love, sex and intimacy in this bracingly honest, beautifully made
British feature from the director of sexy rom-com Do I Love You? --
JENNI OLSON