Well, it has been three days since I posted about MySpace and I've collected 14 friends and two comments. Being true to my word, I rejected the one person who I have never met. I'm not sure why she wanted to be my friend, but she handled the rejection very well.
I also rejected someone who wasn't in their secret agent guise. Oops.
I selected a catchy tune that was very important to me in high school. I even blogged and joined the alumni group for my college. Now, I guess I just sit back and wait for the cool to come oozing in ....<tap> <tap> <tap>...
OK, I have caved and set up a myspace profile. I know, I know ... it was almost a year ago that I blogged about it being strictly for young people and "creepy" for those of us over 30. I believe I wrote this:
And then there is this "friends" thing. Apparently, you connect your profile to the profiles of your actual friends. But then you troll for new friends ... randomly asking people to be your friend. They can accept or reject you. So some people end up with 895 friends. Seems harmless, right? So I asked the 3 people I have actually met in person to be my friend. Fine. Then I asked someone I sort of know who never responded. So I begin to wonder ... is she sick? Does she not want to be my friend? What does this mean for when I see her in real life? Am I not cool enough to be her friend? Why am I overthinking this? And on and on and on down into the void euphemistically referred to as a junior high flashback.
Thankfully, Ledcat slapped me back to my grown up productive citizen life and I quickly realized that I don't need to go online to be rejected --- there's an entire world filled with nasty homophobes just lining up to reject me. Thankfully, there's also a long list of real time people who will come over and hang on our deck with us while the computer sits idle in the attic.
But I had to do it. It has been tough getting some blogging material and following the tracks of people who steal my bandwidth w/o an account -- that's my story and I'm sticking to it. They are stealing my bandwidth, dude!
You know what else turned me? I attended a presentation on Internet Safety brought to you by the District Attorney's office. I was really creeped out and I think I'm somewhat Internet savvy. I get gazillions of pervs coming to this blog looking for teen lesbian porn and I don't let that stop me from putting my message out there. So I guess I can use myspace responsibly, too.
But I booted "Tom" from my list of friends and swear to only list people that I have actually met in person at least one time AND with whom I've exchanged actual two-way conversation. Thus, John McIntire can be my friend whereas the Dixie Chicks cannot. Much to my regret (no offense to John).
We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll bump into some friends and acquaintances. You can check out my profile at http://www.myspace.com/pghlesbian
A secret agent, a lesbian and a political junkie walked into a cyber-coffeehouse. A few keystrokes later, the Pittsburgh Women's Blogging Society was born. The Society is open to all women bloggers in the Pittsburgh region. To participate, you must have a virtual footprint be it a blog, email-list or dynamic website. Your gender identity must be female. Your identity must be known to the blog owners, but can be kept private on the blog. Men are welcome to read and comment. We'll appreciate your support and engagement.Visit us at http://pghwomenbloggers.blogspot.com/ to check us aht.
The Post-Gazette reports that local gay business owner and community advocate, Jay Bernard, has passed away. Jay and his business partner Bill Stanhope owned Jay Design in Lawrenceville. Jay was the founder of the Boys of Lawrenceville "a benevolent organization of gay men" and the author of a monthly column about pet adoption. I've heard of Jay, but did not have the opportunity to meet him. Jay's company donated some items to an event I am hosting tonight for my day-job. I will be thinking of him when we raffle off those items. God speed.
The Presbyterian debate over gay marriage continues. From the PG:
A regional Presbyterian court's decision yesterday upheld Pittsburgh Presbytery's ban on gay marriage ceremonies, and reiterated the national church's stance that ordination requires chastity in singleness or fidelity in heterosexual marriage.
But the language was such that both sides of the local debate regarding the ban on actively gay clergy in the Presbyterian Church (USA) found aspects of the ruling acceptable.
Several Middle Eastern governments have filters in place to prevent their citizens from accessing gay and lesbian sites.
Iran, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Tunisia, the United Arab Emirates and Yemen had the strictest social-filtering practices, blocking pornography, gambling and gay and lesbian sites.
That's interesting. I usually have at least one IP address a day based in those very countries that visits my site, usually with a keyword search for "hot lesbians" or "lesbian photos" or "naked lesbians." Once it was "nudie lesbians." I chalk that up to a translation issue. Someone is getting through that filter.
Meanwhile, today's Trib runs this nice little affirmation of Falwell from the self-described "mean girl" Ann Coulter:
Let me be the first to say: I ALWAYS agreed with the Rev. Falwell.
Coulter sets the record "straight" on Tinky Winky's sexual orientation and explains why he didn't go far enough identifying who was responsible for 9/11 (hint: he's a Kennedy).
Meanwhile, South African churches get the go ahead to perform same-sex marriages.
Reports say that 5,000 people turned out for the Warsaw gay rights parade in spite of government sponsored crackdowns. Anti-gay crusaders want to ban gay propaganda in the schools. Does that sound familiar?
And, closer to home, Kent State has installed a "gender neutral" bathroom to accomodate transgender male and female students. Nearby Oberlin has a residence hall specifically for transgender students. The times they are a changin'.
OK, this just strikes me as weird. The Tribune-Review sent a reporter to OUTrageous Bingo to do a story on the lack of a lesbian scene in Pittsburgh. "Lesbian scene" should always be read as "no lesbians bars," but we'll get to that in a moment.
OUTrageous Bingo is a mixed event - gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered men and women, old people, young people, etc. Why not send a reporter to an actual lesbian event (or a queer women's event) where it more likely you'll find a diverse group of people who are a little plugged in and can say with some authority what's missing?
Anyway, I personally get really tired of people moaning that there is no lesbian bar in Pittsburgh. Good grief. Of all the types of lesbian-friendly places I can conceive, one covered in smoke soot and encouraging women to consume alcohol is not high on my list of lesbian friendly ideals. I could take us on a little trip down the wonderful world of lesbian health to see the disproportionate impacts of alchol abuse and nicotine addiction in the lesbian community, but I'll restrain myself. It always strikes me as ironic that women who so enthusiastically support the ESTHER project, a lesbian health project, are the ones complaining about the bar situation.
Now that I got that off my chest, I have to say that the women profiled in the story made some excellent points about many projects and events being dominated by gay men, the small group of the same people who show up for everything, etc. And it is interesting how the younger women are picking up the mantle to get new kinds of things with an old twist organized. Sarah Claire, for example, organizes dance parties at the smoke free Ava Lounge in East Liberty. Cool. Ehrrin Keenan organizes lesbian book club and game nights. Very cool. Kat and Rowan got the potluck up and running smoothly. Awesome. We need to keep that kind of initiative flowing.
Now see Ledcat and I would do all of those things. Except we haven't. Because life gets in the way. Maybe part of the issue is that women have pretty full plates so a once a month or once every other month outing to a lesbian-centric event is enough. Maybe we've integrated as lesbians into society enough that our social needs can be filled outside of a lesbian bar.
Maybe its no longer about retreating to a lesbian-centric space as claiming our own spaces as lesbian-centric. Isn't that what we've been struggling for all these years? I'm not saying we don't need lesbian oriented places. But maybe they aren't bars. Maybe it's the fact that I can walk into Cafe Beleza on teh Northside, holding Ledcat's hand and call her honey without thinking twice about it. Or maybe that we can go out to dinner at the Square Cafe, staffed mainly by lesbians, and do the same thing. Or fly a rainbow windsock on my porch on a street with one other gay couple. Or that I have her picture on my desk at work.
Maybe this is an opportunity to generate a new sense of space and community.
To be fair, the article missed some pretty big things, namely the Dyke March and Celebrate the Night. It missed the queer performance events and the queer arts scene almost completely. It completely missed the Burghosphere.
It also missed the ongoing tension between gay men and lesbians over power and control of LGBTQ resources. This dynamic is at play whether its bar owners complaining about lesbians who drink water all night or the debate about the misanthropic content of drag queen shows.
The sidebar article sums up why this piece was not a hallmark step forward for the lesbians in Pittsburgh. The editor helpfully included a list of contact information for the events described in the main story, which is especially good for those lesbians in the hinterlands that aren't sure how to go about finding these resources. Kudos to the Trib. However, the title of that sidebar? Where the girls are.
Fear not! I was on vacation last week, but spent my time cleaning out my empty house and preparing for the arrival of Pittsburgh's newest lesbian, B. I inhaled enough dust, cleaning fluid and spider webs to bring down the mightiest of women, but persevered in the knowledge that I could spend this week going back to work AND cleaning the house in which I actually live. Oh Joy!
Stuff has happened while I've been gone. No, I haven't listened to John McIntire's new radio program -- unfortunately, I am at work and it is not really work appropriate topicishly. Sigh. So I just have to be content with all the gossip from you guys. I understand he is a self-styled lesbian flipper. You don't see much lesbian flipping these days so that's something I'd like to watch. With popcorn, of course. And maybe an ice cold Coke.
Dav-y-oe was on Lynn Cullen's show today. Also missed that one because of work. Darn pesky work. Imagine those foster kids needing homes and funding and services when I'm trying to listen to progressive talk radio. Darn kids!
Ledcat and I went to see Blades of Glory this weekend. Hys-teri-ical. Emphasis on the hyphens. I was high on sushi so no popcorn, but trust me -- funny laugh out loud stuff. Not funny cerebral stuff. But a great send up of manly homophobia. Dynamite!
I watched like 10 seconds of news last week. I did read For Better or For Worse in the paper everyday -- April turned 16. I also went to the Carnegie Library one morning and copied my great-grandmother's obituary. I have to prove she's dead to the folks at the Catholic Diocese Research Chapel in order to get her baptismal certificate. My grandmother, her daughter, suggested I take her in as proof -- Gma is 90! So anyway, I got a chance to check out their geneaologial section which is pretty cool. I've traced my family back as far as about 1700ish on some branches. Basically, we've been in Pittsburgh (or Pennsylvania in general) for at least 6 or 7 generations. I've even discovered I qualify for the Daughters of the American Revolution, which I would love to join just to lord it over my snooty aunt. But I can't do that. I'm not sure they acknowledge that patriots sired lesbians. Oh, blunderbuss!
Ledcat and I also caught a show at the Brillobox two weekends ago. It was funny, but I felt kind of sad. You know when you show up at a party and all the hosts sort of talk to each other after giving you a perfunctory "thanks for coming" brush off? That's how it went down that evening. It is like I am interesting enough to pay money to come here (SMOKING ALLOWED btw), but not interesting enough for a real conversation. I could have stayed home and watched 60 Minutes and Cold Case during that time slot. But instead I ate quasi-Italian food and parallel parked in Lawrenceville -- to be ignored. Sigh. It was probably a combination of PMS and a mood swing, but it still felt crappy. I think I'm going to keep the smoking/non-smoking barrier as a protective aura for my self-esteem when I go to these things. Non-smoking venues are filled with people who smile and chat and discuss and emote. Smoking venues are filled with people who hack, cough, posture and cop attitudes. Overly simplistic perhaps, but it works for me. Plus, the mood swing thing seems under control. I did resist the urge to stand up, give the peformers the old man fist shake and rail against myspacemania. But only because Ledcat duct taped my hands to the chair.
That's pretty much the news from Lesbian Central. I have a lot of blogs to read tomorrow. Sigh. Plus, that pesky work to do. And get ready for the great Easter trek to my cousin's house in Dormont. Those streets always confuse me. And just when I learned my way to G. Street, they move the dinner to her fiance's house around the corner and through three traffic lights. What the hell is that about? You don't move Easter dinner. You just don't.
Pittsburgh is fortunate to have a talented pool of queer and queer-friendly performance artists, some of whom I have met over the past year. They include singer-songwriters, spoken word artists, comedians, poets, rappers, puppeteers, and so forth.
PrideFest is the annual community celebration of all things queer (or gay) and includes a chunk of stage time dedicated to performances. Among the usual suspects are the Renaissance City Choirs (men and women) and a slew of drag queens as well as some other amateur artists.
See the disconnect? What I'm wondering is why this whole group of talented professional and semi-professional queer artists are not on the PrideFest performing schedule? I know the budget doesn't allow for bringing in a huge name, but given that some of our homegrown talent have performed around the country it would seem worthwhile to give them a shot at headlining. Or at least allocating a slot or two. To be fair, I have to wonder why the artists haven't pursued it themselves more aggressively. As most of them seem to perform at every other queer benefit in the region, it doesn't make sense.
My gut tells me that this is a mini-front for some of the internal culture wars in the queer/gay community. PrideFest is this odd fusion of mainstream family-friendly festivalishness (lemonade, non-profit vendors, children's areas) atmosphere with the retro shout out to the drag queens. The queer arts movement is less focused on assimilating into mainstream heteroculture and more in tune with queer identity.
PrideFest should be the venue where these disparate trends find, at least for one day, a common ground in celebrating all aspects of our community. There's small movements on either side --- the Pride parade is now an awareness march. Its not earthshattering but it does shake off some of the complacency of the white upper middle class gays who aren't always attuned to those outside their realms of privilege. Just as seeing lots of gay couples with babies and toddlers enjoying an afternoon of family fun reminds this lesbian of how much progress has been made at shifting the heteronormative standards of "family."
The arts would be a powerful venue to explore the intersection of these two seemingly disparate communities.
So I've begun compiling a list of all the local performers I would like to see at PrideFest. It is on the right hand side of this blog, with links to their assorted websites and myspace pages. It is not comprehensive by any means. Check out their sites and see what they have to offer. In my opinion, they have something meaningful to say to the entire gay/queer community.
Let them entertain us.
If you'd like to volunteer for the PrideFest committee, clink on the icon above for more information.
What with all the weather and all, I missed this little gem of a letter in the Beaver County Times that was penned by Paul Kisiday of Freedom (ironic, no?). Paul decries the sissification of contemporary society as exemplified by complaints over Super Bowl ads. It seems that all the furor over distraught robots, homoerotic chocolate kisses and K-fed's diss of fasfood workers has pushed Mr. Kisiday over the edge and he's determined to save us from ourselves:
Sorry to break the news, but there are winners and losers in life and people do get their feelings hurt. In the adult world, the better person gets the job (in most cases, excluding affirmative action, which is another way our society is sissified).
As a species, we dominate the planet. It's about survival of the fittest, with the strong on top. We are getting away from that and setting a bad example for our youth.
They need to realize it's not about free handouts, that you need to work hard to achieve your goals and that sometimes you will have your feelings hurt.
So get over it and move on.
Wouldn't it really be awesome if the better person always got the job? I mean I could live well in a society like that; I'd be able to offset feeling bad about being passed over if I could truly believe that the majority of jobs impacting my life are filled by the best person. Not the whitest person. Not the most masculine. Not the best connected person. Not the one capable of consuming the most alcohol. Not the one most likely to end up in the boss's bed. The best person.
Too bad Mr. Kisiday have never actually read Darwin or, apparently, any of our Founding Father -- a bunch of the "fittest" who set up a system not based on keeping the strong on top.
Congratulations on raising spunky, articulate and polite daughter. As you know, she took the time to post a comment on this blog several months ago, sharing her thoughts on the Upper St. Clair performance of "The Importance of Being Earnest" and the potential for homophobia. Unlike most of those who comment here, she had the guts to post her real name and stand up for that which she believes. That's commendable and I'm sure you are very proud of her.
But you aren't happy that googling her name brings up a lesbian website. Out of deference to your sensibilities, your daughter has very politely asked me to take her comment down.
Given that your daughter seems to rock, it is quite discouraging, H's Mom, that you are a homophobe. Oh, I know you probably don't think that way of yourself and would never be the kind of person who says "I hate gay people." And you probably think we deserve some civil rights and disagreed with Rick Santorum's man-on-dog slurs.
But let me be clear, H's Mom, that being "freaked out" because your daughter's name is associated with lesbians is nothing but homophobic. And you freaking out sent a very clear message to your daughter that if she is gay, it's not okay with you. And that, H's Mom, makes you a very real threat to myself and my community. And your daughter, too.
If being mistaken for a lesbian or perceived to be lesbian-friendly is the worst assumption people make about your daughter, is that so bad? If you are worried how people might treat her or what they might think about her, you might want to consider why people do that. Perhaps you might use the opportunity to teach your daughter some lessons about tolerance, rather than capitulating to gay panic.
I'm honoring your daughter's request to take down her comment because she asked me politely and was very respectful and straightforward with me about her reasons. She seems like a great ally for my community and has her head on straight when it comes to your being freaked out over this whole thing. I doubt she's going to develop a sudden fear of lesbians over this.
I do hope you take a moment to consider the lesson you've taught her.
