Today was a good day.

My friend Anne gifted me with a huge bag of gently used clothing.  She's been following my weight loss saga and set aside items she thought I would like.  It was very unexpected and very sweet.  I have my eye on a plaid skirt for an upcoming date night.  Now I need to indulge my tight fetish ...

When I returned home, I found a package from South Carolina which had my friend DeeDee's handwriting all over it. I ripped open the envelope and found a book. The Art Book!  She's an artist and I've been sharing with her about my journey through The Artist's Way and the need to do a weekly artist date.  So she gifted me with a lovely book and a gift card to a coffee house that she was regifting.  I was delighted with the unexpected surprise. 

I am very lucky to have such lovely friends. I'm also inspired to finish cleaning the spring /summer clothing I shrank out of and passing it along now rather than waiting around for the ground to thaw.  Pay it forward, right?

I've always considered myself a compassionate person.  From my days of campus service projects to my years in social service ministry right through my social work graduate degree to my various jobs, I always just took for granted that I had compassion for, well, everyone.  It wasn't something I examined too closely and I rarely took the opportunity to contrast my self-belief with the way I lived my life, the manner in which I experienced my life.

I am guilt of many self-indulgences, but having compassion for myself is not one of them.  Like many of us, I can be both brutal on myself and stubborn about things I don't want to change.  I am somewhat keenly focused on the suffering of other people, but self-righteous when it comes to my own.  I'm quick to tell you when I've felt discrimination, such as when the man downtown called me a f*cking dyke last year.  I wag my finger and shake my fist at the injustice of it all, but sometimes I get so caught up in the "gay emergency" that I lose sight of the fact that compassion should extend beyond my comfort zone.

I recently had some feedback that I had indulged in some discussions about being gay that I would "crucify" someone else for having.  I was taken aback at that language.  When I was inside my own perspective, I could *get* why I might be having that conversation?  Am I really so unforgiving that I would crucify anyone?  At what point did my quest for equality become a lynch mob? (my words)

Here's where we circle back around to compassion for myself.  The conversation I was having was in the midst of a deep personal crisis and I was hurting.  I've probably criticized other people for indulging in similar thoughts, but the best I can do now is practice what I preach, remember my own frailties and not be so quick to judge other people who don't meet the gay perfection standard. 

But I also need to give myself permission to miss that standard. A lot.  Often.  Many times.  Sometimes. 

One of my goals for 2011 is to infuse this blog with more personal insight, not simply regurgitating and analyzing LGBTQ news.  The truth is that it is hard to blog out loud without exposing some of your warts.  The tendency to cover those warts with snark and self-righteous whatever is very tempting, but it does lessen my credibiliy as a compassionate human being.  I can't undo past experiences where I've crucified anyone, but I am glad to have an opportunity to be more mindful of that flaw. 

Let me be clear.  Holding people accountable for their choices is not crucifying them.  Failing to put myself in their shoes for few moments,  failing to consider their point of view is leading me down that path. 

compassion - the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it.

As wise woman recently told me that once you can have compassion and love for yourself, you will have a twofold ability to give it back. It would be superficial and insincere to suddenly become the font of compassion for people I typically pick apart.  It would be healthy and constructive to start with myself. 

Oh, boy.

I worked in City Council District 9 for nearly five years as a social worker, doing everything from financial literacy to recruiting foster parents.  I worked on community projects, interacted with community leaders and watched East Liberty Station morph into The Village of Eastside. (Read that as metaphor for the slide of East Liberty into the gentrified made-up neighborhood of Eastside). While I'm by no means an expert, I do feel confident saying that there are gay people in District 9.  There are people with gay folks in their extended families.  And like many folks in this "disadvantaged" community, there are plenty of low and moderate income gay folks struggling along with their neighbors to be heard and empowered.

My take is that the LGBTQ residents have not been well represented by their current Councilman, Ricky Burgess.  His voting record on LGBTQ issues is almost non-existant because he doesn't vote.  He doesn't co-sponsor equality legislation.  He doesn't support PrideFest.  He uses subterfuge to discredit Councilor Bruce Kraus as just another rich white gay man (proving he's willing to toss down a stereotype to defend himself). He routinely postures as the voice of the disenfranchised and oppressed, except for those of us who happen to be oppressed because we are gay. There is no room in his vision of equality for people who are legally second class citizens because of whom we love.  That's a sad fact.

The joyful news is that Councilor Burgess has a promising challenger in his upcoming reelection race.  I had the chance to meet with her last week and let me assure our conversation was not at all limited to "gay" issues.

Lucille Prater-Holliday is a lifelong Pittsburgh native with real life experiences that resonate with the lives of the people she hopes to represent.  Lucille was born into a family of 9 children and lived in foster care until the age of 12 when her siblings were reunited with her mother.  She grew up in Beltzhoover and then Homewood after reunification where her family continued to struggle to meet basic needs.  As she bluntly puts it, Lucille was "living the social problems so many poor people live."  

She attended local schools, graduating from Westinghouse High School and attending CCAC in Homewood.  Lucille probably shouldn't have succeeded; she readily admits the card were stacked against her.  She credits the intervention of two adults in the school system who nutured her with food when her stomach was empty and with emotional care she didn't receive at home.

At age 34, Lucille found herself a widow with two young sons.  She continued to work in the social services field while she pursued a bachelor's degree from Geneva College. 

Throughout these years, Lucille has lived in several East End communities including East Liberty, Shadyside and Homewood as well as the East Hills.  She's been a community advocate with ACORN, Action United and social justice issues.  Her mantra is "don't talk about it, be about it."

I asked Lucille why she was running and she shared the story of me of her experiences of walking into "downtown" Homewood when she returned at the age of 12 .  She was overcome with the vibrancy of the community, the lively business district, the sights and sounds that overwhelm a child with possibility even when she isn't sure there will be a meal on the table that night.  She then described for me the destruction of the riots after Martin Luther King was assassinated, a wound from which she believes Homewood has never recovered.  Her hope is for other children growing up in District 9 to have that same feeling of wonderment, that they "deserve to live in an environment that allows them to grow and succeed."

Prater-Holliday's story is compelling, but her energy and focus on issues is equal parts compelling and sort of a "yes we can" energy that has brought so many fresh new voices to the City Council table.

She's passionate about public transportation, leaning across the table to emphasize the waste which cripples riders in the most vulnerable communities, then leaning back when she acknowledges that is a county issue.  But her ardor to lead her neighbors out of second-class citizenship is fervent. 

Other issues:

- Piloting a "Neighborhood Council" model used in California with community council members having a formal line of communication with their City Councilor.

- Housing blight.  Prater-Holliday states there are over 1,000 abandoned buildings in Homewood alone.  She'd like to partner with the Housing Authority to revitalize empty houses and utilize a shared equity home ownership model.

- Education.  She's concerned about the shifting plans for Westinghouse and believes the City Councilor should be more proactive advocating for children in this district.

- Employment.  She's eager to tap into green iniatives to create job opportunities in her district.  She'll be contributing to a Women & Girls Foundation of Southwestern PA project to highlight the accomplishments in the "green community" in 2011.

- City Pension.   She's glad City Council took a leadership role in crafting a solution.

Gay issues.  Yeah, so I asked her about it.  I told her about Burgess' record.  She showed me a photograph of her now deceased sister who was a lesbian and very much part of the family.  She told me about seeing Dreams of Hope perform at the Kelly-Strayhorn Theater on Martin Luther King Day.  I asked her if she would sign a resolution in honor of PrideFest or in support of gay rights legislation on the state level.  She looked me right in the eye, put her hand on her sister's photo and said "I would be proud to sign anything to support the gay community." 

Prater-Holliday has a lot of questions for Councilor Burgess, mostly about where he's been.  She claims she's been at dozens of community meetings and events without site of him.  She claims he doesn't send staff in his absence.  She exhorts that District 9 needs a public servant, not a politician. 

"I've lived the life" of her neighbors is her hallmark along with dozens of years of grassroots work on social justice issues alongside her neighbors. 

Prater-Holliday positions herself as a neighborhood girl with the community organizing skills that transfer into public service, rather than the family credentials that transfer into politician. She sees District 9 as a unique community of neighborhoods that have a long history of oppression and repression, but believes that the solutions lie within the district -- within the strength of those who live there and know what they need.  Prater-Holliday isn't asking anyone to save Homewood or Larimer or East Hills.  She's asking for the resources so the communities can save themselves and she believes she is best suited to make that happen.

Lucille Prater-Holliday is clearly a better candidate for the District 9 LGBTQ community than Councilman Burgess.  Her grassroots experiences could translate well into an enthusiastic, hard-working new Councilwoman.  I think this is a race worth watching as we have the chance to learn more about this unique woman.  I like that she admits what she needs to learn, but has confidence she can learn it.  That's the sort of moxy we need ... her grasp of how public transportation issues -- even the bus renovations -- impact her neighbors demonstrates a quick mind able to grasp the micro and macro level of systemic challenges. 

Prater-Holliday's campaign kickoff event is Thursday, February 10, 2011, 6 PM at her campaign HQ 712 N. Homewood Avenue, across from CCAC. 

You can reach her campaign manager quadirah (at) lucilleholliday (dot) com

Let's see what happens. 

The week of February 6-11, 2011 will highlight a series of advocacy events designed to draw attention to equality issues. 

At a press conference scheduled for Feb. 14 in the lobby of the State Capital in Harrisburg, two bills will be introduced: Pa?s Marriage Equality Bill by Sen. Daylin Leach and Pa?s Civil Union Bill by Rep. Mark Cohen. Then meetings will be scheduled with legislators, concerned citizens and LGBT-rights advocates throughout the day, followed by a Marriage Equality Rally at the Dauphin County Court House in Harrisburg.

 

Interfaith breakfasts in support of marriage equality will be held in Philadelphia on Feb. 9 and Harrisburg on Feb. 11. In Allentown a same-sex marriage celebration will take place Feb. 12. Performances and drag shows will be held across the state. In Harrisburg a reading of The Laramie Project (which deals with the reaction to the 1998 murder of gay student Matthew Shepard in Laramie, Wyoming) will be performed at the Rose Lehman Theatre-Harrisburg Area Community College on Feb. 17 and 18.

This is from the Keystone Alliance/Gaylife Newsletter which credits OutOnline, but I can't find the original source material.

Two other pieces of equality legislation are in the wings:  expansion of hate crimes protections and expansion of anti-discrimination protections.  Personally, I think those are the better first steps, but it will be interesting to see what happens with a civil unions bill in a Republican controlled state. 

Pam's House Blend has a take on the Congressional call to extend veteran benefits to LGBT military families for those discharged under Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

From Lez Get Real, a tough to read post about bullying on college campuses.

The Post-Gazette's Dennis Roddy makes an interesting career move.

Bitch Media has the scoop on the GOP's decision to drop a measure redefining rape so as not to use use taxpayer dollars to pay for abortion.  (You've got to follow the link to the amazing political satire by The Daily Show).

Maria from 2 Political Junkies highlights a county judicial decision that a minor girl was not mature enough to make a decision about abortion.  The inevitable conclusion is that she was mature enough to carry a pregnancy to term and make a mature decision about what comes next. She also lost her appeal and her case is before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. 

Interesting that while [Judge Phil] Ignelzi was fairly vague to the League of Women Voters and the Steel City Stonewall Democrats while running for election (because, you know, it would be "inappropriate and unfair" to get too specific), the group People Concerned for the Unborn Child determined that he was anti choice and endorsed him -- in fact, he was the only candidate who they endorsed for that seat

Huh. Another example of Western PA Republicans in Democrat clothing.

The City Paper's Lauren Daley talks with Judith "Jack" Halberstam from USC about an upcoming discussion on queer and gender theory.

Finally, I urge you to read Jane's story, part of a new survey on the real lives of transgender men and women in the United States.

There's an article in the Tribune Review referncing the decision of St. Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church congregation to leave the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America in favor of joining the North American Lutheran Church.

The Evangelical Lutherans approve of ordaining gay ministers.  Guess who doesn't?  If you aren't familiar with the Scriptural battles over this issues, read the article.  I, for one, am tired of media spotlight every time a community of faith acts in bigotry.  Even if the media quotes the wonderful Reverend Janet Edwards at some length. 

"As far as I know myself, the source of my commitment to LGBT equality within the church arises out of my faith," she said. "One way to look at it is to ask the fundamental question, 'What would Jesus do?'

"When I see Jesus embrace the outcasts of his day, for me to follow Jesus means I will do the same

The interesting twist in this piece is looking at how dissenting opinions rips communities of faith, congregations apart.

When we attended Allegheny Unitarian-Universalist church this morning, Reverend Dave spoke about the concept of community, a term that implies sameness or unity.  He rebels against the command that people of faith come together in unity as if the in-between that fills our dissenting opinions is a scary space where angels fear to tread.  The great unknown or perhaps more accurately, the great differently experienced and differently known. 

He reminded us that community can exist without people being in lockstep.  The Unitarian-Universalist concept of community strikes me as both transcending and including people who differ.  There is unity in the "in between spaces;" it just takes effort to work through those spaces to find one another and lift one another up.

I'm not sure if this is what Reverend Dave was saying, but it is what I took away from the service.  I, a wanna-be evangelical, can build community with a person who does not identify as Christian within the same congregation.  That's pretty darn radical when you consider how many Pittsburgh congregations vote themselves off their denomination island over the ordination of gays and women. 

In the Trib article, one interviewee admits he fled to the Catholic church because he liked the idea of one church.  As a former Catholic, I do not look at it that way at all.  It never made sense to me that there was one path to God and certainly one way to be Catholic.

Reverend Dave seems to believe that our disunity can be a creative place which brings forth new understanding on both parts. 

Does that make sense? I know, it is so unfamiliar to us.  I think there's a parallel in the LGBTQ community where we experience the world very differently, yet insist that our identity transcends factors such as gender, race, socioeconomoic status, ethnicity, faith and so forth.  We don't always (most times) pull it off, but the struggle to find the common ground itself generates the communal vibe that seems so elusive.

Some people in our community vote themselves off the island and I'm must more sympathetic to them than these churches, something I need to explore for myself.  If our community is a catalyst for so much disunity in the churches, perhaps we should all rethink how we build our own community.

Just some random thoughts.  I'm tired of simply reporting on yet another defecting church without questioning why I care. 

A nice editorial in the PG on the unacceptable plan to roll out the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell "slowly."

Delay will only foster uncertainty and resentment. Theoretically, gay servicemen and -women could still be dismissed under the old law while the new one is pending. The sooner this is completed, the better for everyone.

Excellent point.  Equality rolls along at such a slow pace, far more slowly than public opinion.  I recently joined a group made up of people I don't know.  I wasted no time talking about Ledcat in the same way the others discussed their spouses.  Not a peep of dissent or a rolling of the eye.  In fact, people comment on our relationship as an example of doing things right.  It is out of context here, but the example goes to show that most people embrace or don't care. 

Wake up, military leaders.  Welcome to 2011.