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Today, I had a disturbing thought, wondering if my friends were tiring of hearing me talk about my current struggle with depression? Revisiting recent conversations, looking for subtext, listening for nuance – all to convince myself that I was indeed disturbing them. And that’s the deadly moment where many of us who won’t want to […]
I am one of 9+ million Americans deemed totally and permanently disabled by the Social Security Administration. I was 40 years old at my date of disability. I am 54 years old. Today, I receive a monthly allotment of $1500 after I paid for mandatory Medicare. I had/have full health insurance coverage through my spouse. […]
For the past 16 months, I have been unable to ride in a vehicle driven by a stranger – especially in the back seat. This is a trauma reaction to the time I was put in handcuffs, put in the backseat of a police car, fastened, and taken away from my home under the pretext […]
I met Elisa Rae Shupe, known then as Jamie, here in Pittsburgh. She had moved here with her wife for trans affirming health care. We met through the local LGBTQ Community Center when I was seeking donations from veterans groups to support trans and queer youth. Note: while Elisa is well known for winning a […]
I am not supposed to talk about any of my lawsuits (all civil matters) so I want to talk about my life, my day to day life as a person with multiple civil lawsuits she can’t discuss. And multiple disabilities. After six months of homelessness (couch surfing), I returned to my home of 20 years […]
I’ve been feeling better each day if I don’t push myself too much. Yesterday, I pushed so today I feel awful. Not as awful as last Friday. But in bed for a nap at 2 PM, struggle to complete chores, struggle to complete paperwork awful. My coughing is minimal thanks to meds. My chest still […]
This quote has been moving around social media tonight, guidance from sociologist Jennifer Walter. It took me awhile to track down the source. This part really resonates with me: 3/ Remember: Feeling overwhelmed is the point. When you recognize this, you regain some power. Take breaks. Process. This is a marathon. Regain your power, my […]
I’ve got pneumonia. I’ve been horribly sick for six days. In bed, sleep all day, disorienting sick. A friend took me to doctor Friday. Now I’m back in bed with shiny new meds. Is God taking away my breath to silence me? Breathing has occupied far more time than usual this week. How I sleep […]
I’ve been emotionally struggling recently, a combination of post-holiday ennui with a reflection on my current situation. Also, I miss my nephews. One reality I cannot avoid is that I am not self-sufficient. I haven’t had to think about myself as unit of independent sufficiency for 20+ years. Now I’m caught in the fallout of […]
In case you were wondering, my solo Christmas was actually fine. I had Xmas eve dinner with friends. Then I came home and settled in. I had a sweet roll for breakfast, then heated up my chicken dinner around 2. In between, I watched ‘Call the Midwife’ most of the day. I did take a […]
