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Every time I call my friend Nikki, I ask “Are you still coming on Saturday?” referencing the (back)yardsale. She softly responds “Yes, I am. It’s okay to ask and I will say yes each time you ask because I understand what you are really asking me.” Please don’t abandon me. That’s what I’m asking. I […]
Content Note: sexual violence, mental illness, family violence I was born on October 22, 1970. By mid-July 1971, my mother was pregnant again with my brother. Somewhere during that time, she was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit. I was left with my paternal grandparents. By my third birthday, we were all reunited under the same […]
My birthdays are sad. I fight this each year. I pingpong from frenetic planning for lots of autumnal things to despondent hopeless nothingness. It is exhausting and feels like something so primal in my psyche that I cannot escape. And that dramatic sentence reflects my post-birthday emotional reset. My plan is to work out via […]
