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I am not supposed to talk about any of my lawsuits (all civil matters) so I want to talk about my life, my day to day life as a person with multiple civil lawsuits she can’t discuss. And multiple disabilities. After six months of homelessness (couch surfing), I returned to my home of 20 years […]
February is coming around the bend quickly. I’m so determined to just not think about ‘those things’ happening this week that I keep pushing myself to find something, anything, anything at all to anticipate in February. Tears roll down my face, my face so intently clenched thinking of what could be good in February. It […]
CN: grooming, sexual violence, family secrets, cults, programmed,mental health, trauma As a child, I was programmed (or groomed) by my paternal grandmonster. He was a serial predator whose violent behavior was protected by the family. It is a horrific multi-generational story, one I am determined to expose to the light of day in order to […]
Content Note: mental health, bureaucracy, aging, suicide, shed building Last week. A dark and twisty series of days, events, and revelations. It was pretty rough. First … First, there’s my struggle to find a good therapist who accepts Medicare. Or will. I have private insurance now through my spouse, but I also have a Medicare […]
Its anxiety, my old friendYou’ve come to sit with me againBecause a feeling softly does creepGrabbing hold while I cannot sleepAnd the belief that was programmed in my brainStill remainsWithin the hush of silence In childhood years I walked aloneSlipping into a silent homeWatching other families from afarMy door to comfort was ajarWhen my heart […]
I’m not fine, of course. But I’m slowly coping with this new but perhaps inevitable reality. All the things people say right, speaking past each other or to themselves. All of those things mean everything because we are alive, we are still saying things, we are still here. Marriage, single, partnered. Here we are. NaBloPoMo. […]
Pre-pandemic, I began seeing my counselor twice a week for therapy. We were starting to work on trauma and one session wasn’t enough. This was 2019. Her boss resisted. My insurance did not, so after self-advocacy, I became a woman who went to therapy twice a week. Like psychoanalysis without the cocaine or sex. I […]
Today, August 27, 2024, marks one year since I was wrongly detained for an involuntary commitment (302), held against my will for four or five hours, then discharged to find the lock to my home had been changed. Each of these claims is a fact. The date, the invalid 302 paperwork, the time spent at […]
I was most likely born with a genetic predisposition to mental illness disability. My father has undiagnosed bipolar disorder, my mother unipolar depression. Most of the adults in my family used alcohol to self-medicate. My brother has ADHD which is very adjacent to bipolar. Disability. Disability. Disability. The neglect and abuse of my childhood created […]
In acknowledgment of Disability Pride Month, a look back at previous posts. Most of my blogging about mental health began after 2010 when I was declared totally and completely disabled by the Federal Government. I immediately hit many walls of discrimination, bias, and ignorance on the part of other people. My response was to up […]
