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February is coming around the bend quickly. I’m so determined to just not think about ‘those things’ happening this week that I keep pushing myself to find something, anything, anything at all to anticipate in February. Tears roll down my face, my face so intently clenched thinking of what could be good in February. It […]
I’ve been emotionally struggling recently, a combination of post-holiday ennui with a reflection on my current situation. Also, I miss my nephews. One reality I cannot avoid is that I am not self-sufficient. I haven’t had to think about myself as unit of independent sufficiency for 20+ years. Now I’m caught in the fallout of […]
Today has been a day. I awoke to find this lovely article in the Pittsburgh Union Progress highlighting our work to help the folx who help the cats and critters. The pantry is a labor of love for her, named in memory of her lifelong friend John Ruffing, a West Mifflin resident and veterinarian who […]
CN: grooming, sexual violence, family secrets, cults, programmed,mental health, trauma As a child, I was programmed (or groomed) by my paternal grandmonster. He was a serial predator whose violent behavior was protected by the family. It is a horrific multi-generational story, one I am determined to expose to the light of day in order to […]
Its anxiety, my old friendYou’ve come to sit with me againBecause a feeling softly does creepGrabbing hold while I cannot sleepAnd the belief that was programmed in my brainStill remainsWithin the hush of silence In childhood years I walked aloneSlipping into a silent homeWatching other families from afarMy door to comfort was ajarWhen my heart […]
Pre-pandemic, I began seeing my counselor twice a week for therapy. We were starting to work on trauma and one session wasn’t enough. This was 2019. Her boss resisted. My insurance did not, so after self-advocacy, I became a woman who went to therapy twice a week. Like psychoanalysis without the cocaine or sex. I […]
Today, August 27, 2024, marks one year since I was wrongly detained for an involuntary commitment (302), held against my will for four or five hours, then discharged to find the lock to my home had been changed. Each of these claims is a fact. The date, the invalid 302 paperwork, the time spent at […]
I don’t know how my mother did it. Her entire life, she relied on other people for rides. When she was younger. she was an avid public transit user, zipping from Bethel Park around the region on trolley and bus. Once she had kids and moved to West Mifflin, things got trickier. The bus was […]
Two years ago, my mother died on this date. I think about her more often now. Even when it is a sad memory, I almost instantly remember that she’s at peace. I can miss her, but not regret that she’s gone. Not in a “better place” sort of way, but that she served her time […]
And when the music playsAnd when the words areTouched with sorrowWhen the music playsAnd when the music playsI hear the soundI had to follow I recently had a chat with a high school classmate about the long-ago rift in our friendship and the chance to offer an apology. They said I was a gossip. And […]
