Queers: They're What's For Dinner!

What could be more cool than a monthly dinner for queer women?  For the past 12 months or so, I've said that every single time I received an invite from organizer Ehrrin and then promptly didn't go.  Why?  Oh the usual reasons -- work, family, pets, blogging, blah blah blah. 

But as part of our mission to infiltrate the queers we made a point to head for last night's gathering at the Gypsy Cafe and ended up being one of the last to leave. 

Reasons why this event ain't your typical lesbo potluck ...

1.  People mingled.  There was still a hint of yinzeritis at the tables, but most notably the hostess for the evening got up and worked her way around the room.  And not just to collect the $$.  I've been to many a potluck here in da 'burgh where the hostess takes your food and you never see her again because she's catching up with her 16 best friends while you stand in the corner feeling like a complete moron.  But I'm not bitter ...

2.  Variety was the spice.  There were some moms there with very cute babies (shout out to Lola!).  There were couples, singletons, older women, younger, women from Shadyside and from Greensburg, even a sweet jezebel.  Your basic dyke variety. 

3.  Let's give them something to talk about.  Everything from Ted Nugent (we do NOT have any of his CD's) to PrideFest, from police misconduct to feminist deconstruction of the porn industry, from raising children to Scrabble .... and that was just our table.  For a conversation junkie like me, it was basically a giant verbal orgasm.  With pita.

4. Food excellence.  Gypsy Cafe rocks.  Excellent plentiful food.  With pita.

5. Continuity.  They do this often.  Kat has done a groovy job keeping the Lesbian Potluck going at the GLCC.  This just builds on that lovely dynamic.  Maybe because neither takes place in someone's home?   Is it a hospitality issue?  I don't know. 

To be honest, I know I won't make it monthly just b/c well ... because.  But knowing it happens regularly, I'll get myself there semi-frequently. You should, too.

ps:  pip pip for the very considerate smokers ... :-)

From their myspace bulletin board, comes word that the Square Cafe will no longer be featuring performances of any kind.  This Friday's variety show will be the last performance for the summer.

You know this probably sucks for a bunch of other people waaaayyy more than me, but I am majorly bummed.  And tonight I was just talking about this whole thing with a bunch of cool dykes.  Ah well ....I'm still going on Friday.  And I'll be back for waffles ...

  This morning, I dragged my ass out of bed at 7 AM and discovered that we had neither milk nor orange juice.  Since we did have coffee, I was cool, but I knew that herself would want to be fed eventually.  So I suggested we dine out for breakfast.  I admit I was thinking Eat'NPark.  But she had the brilliant idea of going to the Square Cafe in Regent Square. 

We had been there before to catch the luminous Eve Goodman perform, but only sampled some of the hummus and beverages.  So anyway, I called to determine their breakfast serving hours (all day) and lo and behold, guess who answers the phone?  Gab Bonesso, the comedy chick we met the other day when we went to see John McIntire perform at the Funny Bone. 

Its obviously a cool place to work because Gab, Autumn Ayers and a few other friendly employees all took turns waiting on us (and making us laugh).  Let me just tell you that the waffles have this secret ingredient (orange juice) that make them taste like something right out of an episode of The Waltons.  Before Grandma had her stroke and she made huge country breakfasts for the entire clan in her tidy little homemade dress ... I bet she put some of The Recipe in those waffles.  All we ever had as chez Kerr were the Eggo kind, actually the generic version of Eggos.  My grandmother was more of a Shredded Wheat and prune juice for breakfast kind of gal.  Since she's 90 now and never had a stroke like Grandma Walton,  I guess there's something to be said for Shredded Wheat.  But I digress ...

Anyway, being waited on by creative artisty people is much more fun than your typical slack jawed yinzerette with a permanent cigarette droop to her lip and a snarl that makes you think twice before asking for something on the side.   Like the chick at Soho last week (PrideFest nonetheless) who accidentally threw honey mustard all over Ledcat and MY PURSE.  It was an accident, but it took 13 minutes for her to get us a wet cloth.  In the meantime, I unrolled 13 sets of silverware from 5 surrounding tables to use the cloth napkins.  Which seemed to displease her.  I hope she delivered a baby in that 13 minutes because I cannot imagine what would be more important than removing honey mustard from your customers.  So like a good lesbian, I spoke to the manager but to my credit I left her a really big tip b/c I know it was HIS fault for her being harried. But I digress again ....its like 99 degrees up here in the Correspondents computer lair so forgive me.

Anyway, next Friday at the Square Cafe you have the opportunity to catch both Gab and Autumn performing LIVE.  and you can have some of the delish hummus.  Or a real meal which is what we plan to do ...possibly you can have OJ infused waffles.  But I'm not making any promises since i don't actually work there.  I am fairly sure you can make it through the evening without being dipped in honey mustard, but then again you might like that so ...

You must, however, promise to laugh at the abortion jokes. 

Well the Correspondents are off in pursuit of sno-cones from Gus and Yaya ...

8 PM   Friday June 30 Square Cafe ---  A Homo-Affirming Business ... be there and be square ... god I sound like McIntire now .... it really is the heat ... or maybe they infused my waffles with mimosas ...

Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell speaks to the crowd at the beginning of the Pride Awareness March on Saturday, June 17, 2006.  Click on the image to see other photos from PrideFest posted on the Gay & Lesbian Community Center website. 

For those of you with great suggestions on how to improve PrideFest, you can find information on joining the PrideFest Committee.  That would be the most effective way to actually make Pride more queer-friendly, more political, more-woman friendly, more youth-friendly, more vegetarian friendly, more low income friendly, recruit more pride merchandise venders, diversify the entertainment, increase the activities ... and the whole host of other things I have heard people complain about over the past weeks. 

Or you can continue to complain and be part of the problem. 

Last night, Ledcat and I picked up a Political Junkie and headed down to the Funny Bone for some good ole fashioned political humor at a fundraiser for the Allegheny County Young Democrats.  Now we should be honest -- we went to see the comedians.  The YDAC aren't a very impressive lot from the get go --- check out their "latest issues" webpage for a classic example of what I mean.  And it was somewhat obvious after about oh ten minutes that they come across as the stuffy non-progressive quasi-Republican Democrats. You know what I mean--- white affluent people dressed in power clothes who don't laugh at abortion jokes. 

But I still gave them a donation b/c maybe just maybe they don't hate homos.  Whatever.

Anyway, the talent is why we went and talent is what we got.  Our good friend and staunch supporter John McIntire was there and in really good form -- he was very funny last night.  I think it was that he went beyond political commentary (at which he excels) and did some self-deprecating stuff that came off really well.  And that man can do some wicked ass funny impressions.  Granted we are completely biased on the issue but I the laughter of the other 26 people seemed genuine. (Yes 26 people turned out --- how's that for a base?)

Gene Collier of the Post-Gazette was there.  First time we've seen him and we found him funny as well in a more droll, observational way.  Maybe its because we aren't such Young Democrats and caught most of his cultural references?  Who knows.  I'd go see him again.

And, the true delight of the evening .... comedian Gab Bonesso.   All we've been hearing from McIntire of late has been "Gab this, Gab that, Gab is funny" blah blah blah.  So our expectations were super-high and she did not disappoint.   She is this wicked smart, razor sharp woman who had us in tears about marijuana and babysitting.  Yes, she is the one who told the abortion jokes which went over very well with the Correspondents but not so much the Young Republicans, er Democrats.  They did go over with the older hippie retreads in the crowd come to think of it.  Go to her website and catch her upcoming performances. 

Overall big fun.  Plus, we got to sit with City Councilman Bill Peduto.  I'm just enough of a geek to think that is really cool and be nervous about what to say to him.   After all he is THE progressive man.  And I don't want to look like some fawning sycophant.  Which I totally did, but I'm sure he's used to it. 

And I discovered that some of the people there are reading my blog.  Which made my night.  And mitigated the fact that it cost me $14.00 damn dollars for two pepsis.  No more Funnybone for us.  We'll stick with the Square Cafe.

Thanks to Ehrrin for sharing these with the Correspondents.  Click on the photo to see the whole slide show ....

Nearly 125 women of all ages, ethnicities, sizes and shapes turned out Friday evening for Pittsburgh's first-ever dyke march, a grassroots effort organized by two local queer women in less than one month.

The event kicked off with a rallyesque bang at the CMU lawn with some spoken word, a few djs and a lot of lady mingling.  We marched from CMU to Pitt and back along the Forbes/Fifth corridor.  The pace was a little fast for those of us who aren't uber-physical, but the energy was high as the parade participants chanted, cheered and enjoyed the delicious feeling of being amongst a crowd of women laying claim to the dyke mantle.

The organizers expected/hoped for about 40 participants especially as they relied mainly on word of mouth to promote the event.  They got well over 100 women, some reportedly driving in from West Virginia to attend.

The event grew out of frustration that most spaces in the local community are defined by men, either the men who attend or the men who own the actual space.  This holds particularly true for PrideFest where some sense that queer women are invisible.  Some women just opt not to participate in the LGBT community or travel out of state to attend dyke-friendly events.  Eli and Khalia, the organizers, chose to create dyke affirming spaces and settled on a dyke march to coincide with PrideFest.

They are both quick to point out that the PrideFest Committee and the Gay & Lesbian Community Center have been supportive, providing listings of the march on their calendars and spreading the word about the event.  PrideFest organizer Jeff Freedman told the City Paper that he viewed the Dyke March as a mobilization of the community, something he claims is long overdue.

The event did face an organizing problem when the Pittsburgh City Police failed to show up on time for the start of the march even though the organizers had followed all of the city policies and procedures to request the permit and arrange the event.  They tried repeatedly to contact the police and were unsuccessful.  Rather than see the event collapse, they turned to allies and asked them to help block traffic counting on the fact that the permit would offset potential problems. 

We marched up Forbes and all the way to Fifth Avenue near the Cathedral of Learning when one squad car from Pittsburgh's Zone 4 showed up at the event.  Organizers showed him the permit and he allowed the event to continue.   This sargeant stayed for about 20 minutes and then left the group to finish the parade unescorted. 

The event ended back at the lawn where jubilant women spent some time decompressing from the bit of a high this sort of dyke-positive event had created.  I spent some time talking with both Eli and Khalia to get their perspectives on the value of creating dyke friendly spaces.  I found them both to be articulate, passionate and -- perhaps most importantly -- willing to take action to build the dynamics they think will strengthen the community.

What I did not find was any sense of man-hating or male-bashing or desire to completely disengage from the male homodynamic.  I did an informal survey at PrideFest about the Dyke March and found that a lot of the women who did not attend had heard these sort of rumors about the event and the organizers. Fortunately, they were willing to listen to our experience and expressed a genuine interest in participating in the future once we reassured them that no one was planning to castrate gay boys. 

These women have done a good job creating a dyke-affirming event.  The next challenge is to reach out beyond their circles of genderqueer women to all those dykes who didn't attend, didn't hear about it and are pretty much mainstream.  Their voices should be part of the dialogue because they too are being disregarded by those in power. There are lots and lots of suburban dykes in Pittsburgh complete with minivans, car seats and years of misogeny on thier backs. 

More on that later when I discuss why being labeled an assimilationist is not cool ...

From Thursday's Post-Gazette:

The controversy over the gay marriage bill should add numbers and energy to Pittsburgh Three Rivers PrideFest 2006, taking place this weekend.

PrideFest is the occasion for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community to hit the streets. It will begin at noon Saturday with a march from the Eliza Furnace Trail, Downtown, to the festival grounds at Riverfront Park on the North Shore.

A decent piece, situated in the entertainment section where it should be well read.  The article goes on to mention the Theater Festival, the movie from the Film Society, and an event at the Holiday Bar.  What it fails to mention (or just alludes to) is Pride Night at PNC Park.  I want a specific reference to the Bucs being homo-welcoming.

The City Paper took a different approach, focusing on the two parades/marches associated with Pride: the Pride Awareness March and the Dyke March.   I like the thoughtful contrast between the two events.

A separate and more overtly political statement by Pittsburgh?s gay community is planned for the day before PrideFest ? the city?s first Dyke March. Organized by a Bloomfield woman who calls herself Khalia Latte, the June 16 event will travel between the university campuses in Oakland. ?It was created as an act of visibility ? not to be an attack on Pride ? to counter the [greater] representation we felt was given to gay men,? says Latte. ?We?re hoping that this event will act as a catalyst ? as a rallying point for our community, to network, to try to politicize our community. Increasingly, gay space has become de-politicized, assimilationist.?

That's a valid arguement.  I suspect, however, that for many people attending PrideFest itself is a political act.  Leaving their closets, even just for a day, to mingle with gay people and experience first-hand a gay affirming atmosphere is the political statement. 

Then there is the rest of us. Sure there are those its easy to peg -- the party crowd who come to Pride to see some skin, ogle the hotties and have a good time; the family crowd who want to check out the booths, stroll in the parade and enjoy a beautiful day surrounded by other same-sex parents; the ... oh wait, I guess that proves my point -- PrideFest is what you make of it.

Now, I know what Khalia is referencing.  The GLCC is solidly white, middle class, middle aged gay male dominated.  The committee has been chaired by white, middle class, gay men for at least the past five years and counting.  The white, middle class, gay men tend to be the most visible and outspoken components of the community.  And the ones with the money to donate to the organizations.  Followed closely by the white, middle class, middle aged lesbians.  The power dynamic is clear. The invitation to be part of the organization has been extended, but that's not the same thing as creating a queer friendly environment.  See earlier post about Queer v Gay and the posted comments for a glimpse into the larger dynamic at play.

To be fair, these people have stepped up and saved the GLCC and PrideFest.  They put in hundreds of hours to keep the center running and provide essential services.  Their time, talent and donations ensure we can run a phone line, service dozens of kids each week and provide a gay-affirming space in the heart of Pittsburgh.  They deserve kudos for that.  Others stepped up to turn Pride from financial ruin and keep it free for the public.  PrideFest has gone from a small little street fair to a huge public celebration of the gay community thanks to these very same white gay men. 

I credit both Khalia and Jeff Freedman, PrideFest organizer, for publicly acknowledging that the two events are complementary, not competitive.  The beauty of the current model of PrideFest has been its generative nature -- creating space for new "acts of visibility" including everything from a gay film to a dyke march to a religious service. 

If these disparate queers and gays can generate this type of relationship around Pride, it bodes well for the larger dialogue.  And that dialogue is coming.  There are some significant issues of inclusiveness/exclusiveness in the gay community that I've referenced in previous posts.  The most obvious divides are along race and age, but certainly include socio-economic status as well.  But it goes further than that --- the GLCC is not handicapped accessible, but many of the queer events are held in bars or other venues where smoking is de rigeur --- both are acts of exclusion.  PrideFest is free, many queer events are by donation -- both are acts of inclusion. 

How mighty it will be when some of these energies move from working side by side to working together. 

For that unique McIntire take on all things PrideFest, tune into KDKA AM 1020 tonight during the 8 PM hour for a discussion on the upcoming Pride activities.  We'll be discussing marching dykes, gay movies, pancakes, parades, pirates and the ongoing debate over gay stereotypes ...call in with your thoughts!

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