Last night, we drove up to The Brillobox for the latest arragement by comedian and all around great gal Gab Bonesso.  Her show is called "The US Government Killed Lenny Bruce"

I wasn't going to blog about it, I really wasn't.  Because I've told you how much we like Gab's comedy and the performances of her co-conspirers in defaming the US government (Jason Kirsch, Bill Eberle, Autumn Ayres, etc).  And last night, they were good --- we saw Gab and Jason perform, along with a sketch comedy troupe that had an appealing dark humor I'd like to see in a more receptive venue and a guest appearance by departing Pittsburgh comedian/radio personality Alan Cox.  It was entertaining, bawdy and outright funny at most points. 

Here's where I have to honest and say what I really think.  We left early along with the 80 year olds.  Maybe because we are just too old to hang out with 20something hipsters enjoying a night on the town.  Our tolerance for annoying behavior is low.  I should clarify that its my tolerance b/c Ledcat was willing to stay while I insisted we leave. 

Here's what annoyed me:

Smoke - Its a cramped second floor space filled with people.  So light up your cigarette and share your stupid addiction with us please.  Because nothing says entertainment like another level of tar and nicotine on my pink lungs.  Really, I didn't mine sucking on my inhaler for an hour afterwards.  Or defunkifying my clothing with Febreeze when I got home.

Annoying laugh - I think she may be a friend of the performers, but she sat right behind and literally screeched into my ear.  Screeched.  My head was ringing and I prayed for the jokes to fall flat so she wouldn't crucify me.  Apparently, her humor appreciate is low b/c she laughed BEFORE the punchlines.  And I was trapped because the nicotines addicts were at the back of the room.  I was choosing between my cancer free existance and my sanity.  If you cannot control your demonic howls, go into a corner and have some consideration for the rest of us.  Don't rock forward in your seat so you get real close to my ear and let loose.  Ledcat and I argue all the time about the ability to control sneezes, yawns and laughter.  Since Screechy seemed to laugh at a normal level on occasion, either she was doing it intentionally or she was part of the performance.  Honey, its only funny to your friends.  Because they love you.  You may be a lovable person, but you annoy the fucking shit out of strangers like me so give us a break.  Because if I see you at another show, I'll probably stand in the back with the addicts and duck out early again.  How is that helping your friends' performances?  ITS NOT.

Annoying woman by the bar -- Get your damn drinks and move on to your uncomfortable folding chair.  Undrape yourself from the bar, say good-bye to your chums and get the fuck out of my way. Don't visit.  Its not a park.  Its a bar. I need my ginger ale.  Then when you end up sitting next to us, don't roll your eyes and huff indignantly when I complain about your obnoxious self.  Take responsibility for your behavior.  Pledge to be more considerate of your elders. 

Talkers - "Hey, lets go see Gab's show!"  But let's talk all the way through it and how about we raise our voices right after she asks us to stop talking to listen to a performance w/o microphones.  Because we want to support her effort in putting this whole production together and reaching all these people who came to see the show.  I bet they would love to hear our ongoing commentary throughout the performance, especially when we talk about things that have nothing to do with comedy, music, politics, or Lenny Bruce.  People will love it!

So there you have it ... I missed Bill, Autumn and Gab's jokes about Fred Phelps because of the obnoxious behavior of oblivious twits who have no consciousness of anything beyond their own immediate gratification and pleasure.  I am definitely not comedy club material.  Thankfully my medication is working well b/c three weeks ago, I would have bitch slapped the bar whore and said mean things to Screechy until she cried and left me in peace.  Although I hate to think what her "I'm not crying" shudders and heaves would sound like ...

I am an evil person.  But not as a evil as Gab.