Ellen was funny. Too bad we had to sit through 750 tribute and homage videos, not to mention a sound effects choir.  B-O-R-I-N-G.  I would rather listen to all the flaming fashion critics screech their way through the entire red carpet line, including the men, than sit through that again.  Word of advice -- let the entertainers entertain.  Nobody cares about the sound effects choir. I'm sure they get union scale and benefit from a job well done.  No one puts me up on stage in a social workers choir and I expect the same consideration from you.  The only montage I want to see is the dead people.  That's okay even if you feel bad for the people who get weak applause. 

Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly sang something.  We could barely hear the words except for "Tonight I'm taking Helen Mirren and an Oscar home."  Jack Black should just stick with being the sidekick.  Like John C. Reilly who is actually very good at it and I'm sure has a nice career.  Jack Black is just annoying.  His only redeeming quality is that he knows Sarah Silverman. 

Al Gore was awesome.  People seemed to think he might actually announce.  At the Oscars.  Sad little people.  You give Al no credit for a sense of humor.  He was awesome.  I guess its okay for the Oscars to be political about the environment.  I thought his comment about the Oscars being as green as possible was ridiculous b/c it was so not true.  But what are you gonna do -- he's Al Gore and he's not running for President. 

Abigail Breslin was very charming.  Penelope Cruz was smoking in her big furry dress.  Beyonce more than held her own singings with J. Hud.  Helen Mirren looked delicious.  I don't know what the hell happened to Cameron Diaz's hair or why a giant Christmas ribbon attacked Nicole Kidman, but overall it made for entertaining fare.  Plus, we got to hang out with our niece for a few hours who was very charming in her monkey pajamas and Zoe slippers.  A nice bedtime toddler ensemble.

I saved the best for last.  Melissa and Tammy.  They looked great.  Melissa won an Oscar.  Ellen hosted  Rock on famous lesbians, rock on.