Someone is paying attention! Last month, we ran this little request from the Post-Gazette searching for married couples to interview about friends (we presumed they meant homosexuals, too). Today the article featuring partners of 11 years Madeleine Hershey and Michelle Wirth ran in the "on the go" section. On the go used to be known as the magazine section until the PG decided that we need more ads from Target and Rite-Aid than actual newspaper content. But I digress ...
The article discusses some of the benefits and pitfalls of extra-marital friendships as well as the pros and cons of single versus coupled friends. Every couple finds a groove that works for them, with the emphasis from the expert suggesting that being respectful of your partner's sensitivities and your own proclivities is most important. No one size fits all solutions. All well and good.
However, one breeder couple in particular illustrates the scary control factor embedded in isolatin yourself from your friends ...
Victor Cauley learned this lesson only after he was married.
"A single friend will get a married man in trouble," says Mr. Cauley, 38, of McKeesport.
When he was single, he did just that, not giving much thought to the sanctity of a friend's marriage when he was out with him one night at a club.
"I met a young lady, and she had a friend and I said, 'Talk to her friend, so I can talk to her,' " he says.
Later, after he was married, he apologized to his friend and his friend's wife for having disrespected their marriage years earlier. With six children, Mr. Cauley and his wife of nine years, DeShonna, are very busy. They socialize a bit with couples from church, but for the most part keep to themselves.
"Don't trust anybody with your wife but Jesus," he says.
Does anyone else read this as "creepy control freak?" Victor was a jerk when he was single, found Jesus and now focuses all his energies on his wife. It is very telling that DeShonna was not included in the story. Perhaps she was too busy raising their children and baking cookies for the Darryl Metcalfe fundraiser to think for herself ....
Thanks, Victor, for clearly evidencing the myriad of ways in which heterosexual marriage screws itself up with no help from the homos whatsoever.
Madeleine and Michelle try to balance couple friends with single friends.
"It's also important that we [each] have a place to go where someone can just listen to us and be with us and not feel that they're being disloyal to [our partner]," says Ms. Hershey, 43, of Swissvale.
Amen, sister.
All in all, another fine job from LA Johnson. Except for not calling out the creepy guy.